


Kidfic 'Verse

by ashavahishta



Category: Jonas Brothers
Genre: Families of Choice, Incest, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-11
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 08:00:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashavahishta/pseuds/ashavahishta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of stories and ficlets set in a 'verse where Joe is a single father to a six year old boy and Nick is his co-parent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

After Audrey leaves, Joe tries to do everything himself.

Nick thinks maybe he's trying to prove something; trying to show everyone that he can take care of his own son. Joe's let the rest of the family come by a couple of times, but he's been stubborn about accepting any more help than that.

Then Nick realises that Joe hasn't actually spoken to the family in a week, and decides it's about time he went over and checked on them both.

He can hear the crying before he even gets to the door.

Nick lets himself in, wincing as the sound of Jamie screaming his lungs out hits him. He finds Joe pacing the length of the living room with the three-month-old cradled against his chest, rocking him lightly. Joe is messy in loose sweats and a dirty t-shirt, Jamie's face is red from crying and Joe looks about ready to burst into tears himself. Nick can hear him muttering, 'please, baby,' under his breath.

"Hey," Nick says cautiously and Joe looks up. He looks too tired to be surprised to see him. "Nick, he won't stop. I'm going crazy."

At closer range, Joe looks even worse than Nick thought. There's dark circles under his eyes, he's unshaven and his hair looks greasy. Nick is almost positive that if he stops moving, Joe will fall asleep standing where he is.

That's enough for Nick, and he makes an executive decision to put his Uncle Duties into full effect, here and now.

"Give him to me," he says. Joe's eyebrows raise and he cradles the baby closer, as though Nick is about to snatch him away.

"What? Why?"

"Uh, because if you look dead on your feet and if you fall asleep right now you'll probably drop the baby?"

Joe gives him a look and continues his bouncing, his hand rubbing circles into Jamie's back. "I'm fine."

Eyeing him doubtfully, Nick motions toward Jamie again. "Seriously. Just let me try."

Joe still looks kind of suspicious, but he hands the baby over. Jamie screams even louder against Nick's ear and Nick adjusts his grip, not used to the weight.

Joe looks oddly naked without his son attached to him. Nick watches as he slumps in exhaustion, leaning against the sofa with a heavy sigh. "Joe, you look wrecked."

Rubbing one hand over his face, Joe shakes his head. "I know, Nick. I just have to get him to sleep so I can go to bed too."

"Well, go. I can get him to sleep."

Joe looks apprehensive. "Do you even know what you're doing?"

Nick shrugs. "Sure. I've seen you with him a hundred times, right? And Kev and I babysat that one weekend when you were sick."

It takes a good fifteen minutes to finally convince Joe that Nick will be able to watch over the baby for a few hours. Of course, after that Nick has to listen to Jamie Care 101 while he continues to wail against Nick's ear.

"I fed him about half an hour ago so that means he should be good for a little while, but there's formula in the fridge if you need it. Just put it in the microwave for about twenty seconds and test it on your wrist first, okay? He only takes like half the bottle at a time but he'll look around for more if he's still hungry. To get him to sleep, try singing or talking to him, or, you know what, sometimes I just take him for a drive because I think he likes the sound of the car, and make sure he has his blankie because otherwise he'll freak -"

"Joe," Nick interrupts. "Honestly, it's fine! If I need help I'll call Mom, okay? Just go to bed, I'm exhausted just looking at you."

Joe gives him a tiny smile. "Okay, okay. Here, just let me say goodnight."

Nick waits somewhat-patiently while Joe presses a tender kiss to the top of Jamie's head, before he finally gives Nick's shoulder a grateful pat and leaves the room.

 

It takes another twenty minutes for Jamie to finally settle. In that time, Nick is glad to hear Joe pottering around in the kitchen and take a shower, and then shut himself in his bedroom upstairs. He wonders how long it's been since Joe's slept more than an hour at a time.

Nick's not really used to caring for a baby, and everything feels a little awkward and tentative at first. But he kind of likes it, once Jamie quiets down. Jamie's all big green eyes and chubby cheeks, with a dark tuft of downy-soft hair that smells like baby powder. It's a pretty adorable combination. Nick's been singing absently under his breath as he walks around Joe's house, and after awhile Jamie just falls silent and stares up at him in fascination. Nick soon discovers that as soon as he stops singing, Jamie's face starts to redden and his mouth opens in preparation for crying again. So, Nick doesn't stop singing.

Joe sleeps through the night and right through the next morning, and Nick survives his first full day of taking care of Jamie by himself. It's tiring, he has to admit, not to mention loud and messy, but it's...nice. There's a couple of hours where Nick just watches TV with Jamie sleeping against his shoulder, and he likes the warm baby smell of him, his little smile when he wakes up.

Joe's smile is pretty similar when he finally wanders downstairs. He looks bleary but refreshed, dressed in clean clothes and barefoot. "How do you feel?" Nick says.

Joe is way more focused on reuniting with his son and doesn't reply. He lifts him gently out of Nick's hold and eases him down against his own shoulder, Joe's eyes closing as he breathes in deep. "Hey, baby," Joe murmurs happily. Nick watches as Jamie's face turns into Joe's neck and his tiny fingers curl against the collar of Joe's shirt.

After a moment, Joe looks up. "What?"

Nick smiles. "I said, how do you feel? Better?"

"Kind of like I got hit by a train, actually. But in a good way, if that's possible?"

"That's good, I think."

Joe leans against Nick's shoulder and Nick reaches out to touch a hand against Jamie's back. "We've had a good time, while you were sleeping."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm. I fed him and changed him and we had lots of fun watching Letterman last night, right, Jamie?"

Joe smiles. "Thanks, Nick."

Nick shrugs. "Hey, it's not a big deal. You needed to rest."

"No, I mean it. _Thanks."_ Joe's hand meets his on the baby's back and he squeezes Nick's fingers, their eyes meeting. Nick feels a deep rush of affection for him, for his big brother who had fatherhood pushed on him so young and has risen to the occasion better than anyone could have expected.

"You're welcome. Actually, I was kind of thinking I'd stay a couple more days."

Joe squeezes Nick's hand again and turns to lay a kiss against Jamie's chubby cheek. "I think we'd both like that."


	2. Chapter 2

Joe pulls up outside the fancy private school Nick insisted they send Jamie to ‘for safety’ and kills the engine, pulling his aviators off his face and wiping a sheen of sweat off his forehead. It’s been a long, hot day – Jamie made a huge mess at breakfast this morning and then Joe had to go and buy him some new summer clothes, which is no mean feat when your son is the fussiest six year old on the face of the earth. He’d managed to find a few t-shirts and shorts that he thinks Jamie will like – most of them with dinosaur patterns, as that’s Jamie’s big obsession this month. Last month it was, unfortunately, Pokemon, and Joe had shelled out a ridiculous amount of cash on DVDs, trading cards and PSP games before Jamie finally declared it ‘boring’.

Joe’s shaken from his thoughts of what to do for dinner tonight – will Nick be home early? He can’t keep track of his brother’s schedule these days – when the school doors burst open and a crowd of uniform clad children spill onto the concrete steps. He spots Jamie almost instantly, shielding the baking sun from his eyes as he talks excitedly to another little boy Joe doesn’t recognise. He waits for Jamie to stop talking and find the car, but after five minutes it doesn’t seem like Jamie’s done and Joe sighs, pulling the keys from the ignition and stepping out of his Mercedes. It’s a vanity item, the car, and Nick had frowned at him and talked about gas consumption and the environment; that problem that gets more pressing year by year – but most cars can be retro-fitted to be eco-friendly these days, plus it’s one of the safest cars for him to be driving Jamie around in so Joe had won that one.

He jogs up the school’s lawn and behind his son, scooping Jamie into his arms. Jamie squeals and wriggles, pounding small fists against Joe’s hands until Joe relents and lets him down. He grins down at him, reaching out a hand to run it through Jamie’s soft dark hair. It’s still straight, in a bowl cut that Danielle insists is ‘adorable’, a mirror image of Joe at the same age.

‘Hi, Daddy!’

‘Hey, kiddo,’ he says, feeling some of his irritated mood slip away at the sight of the boy’s delighted grin. He reaches for Jamie’s backpack and slings it over his own shoulder, letting Jamie wave an enthusiastic goodbye to the other boy. As soon as they’ve turned away Jamie’s sprinting toward the car, and Joe jogs to catch up with him, shouting ‘Jamie!’

Jamie reaches the car and turns to give him the mischievous grin he perfected at the age of three, a gap in the top row of his teeth from where he lost one last month. Demi had bought him a special box to put it in and taught him a poem that would make the tooth fairy leave him extra money, and he’s been desperate to lose another after he found the five dollars under his pillow the next morning.

The drive home is short but loud – Jamie likes to share every single thing he did in the day and never, ever skimps on the details. He keeps up a constant stream of chatter: how Mr. Wilson made them sing a song about the approaching summer, how in art class Max dropped a jug of paint on Ashley’s head, how at lunchtime Wayne almost stuffed four tater tots in his mouth at the same time. He pauses only to draw breath and ask Joe questions that come out of nowhere. Jamie doesn’t really understand the concept of a flow of conversation and is constantly interrupting himself and others to voice his new thoughts and questions.

‘And Thomas got a big red bike for his birthday last week, can I get a red bike for my birthday too, Dad?’

Joe smiles. ‘You only just turned six, honey.’

‘Yeah, but I could get one next year, right? A big one with a basket on the front so I could carry something in it?’

‘We’ll see.’

‘What’s for dinner tonight?’

Joe frowns, again running over the contents of the refrigerator in his head. ‘I don’t know yet. Maybe pasta? We have some chicken left over from last night…we’ll see what your uncle wants, okay?’

Jamie bounces on his seat, a ball of energy despite being at school all day. ‘I want sgetti!’ He enthuses suddenly, and Joe winces at the thought of the mess he made last time Nick made spaghetti bolognaise. Jamie had smeared the sauce all over his face and clothes, forever staining his favourite white spongebob t-shirt.

He pulls into their big, comfortable home and Jamie bounds out of the car for the front door, only stopping to greet next door’s cat, who often chooses to lounge on their fence in the afternoons. Once inside Jamie climbs the stairs, stripping off his school uniform so that by the time he’s on the top landing he’s only in his underwear, all bony elbows and knobbly knees. He’s always been a huge exhibitionist; used to be that kid in preschool who always wanted to be naked no matter what. After baths Nick will chase him around the house for a quarter of an hour, trying to force him into pyjamas. Joe sighs. ‘Pick up your uniform and put some clothes on, please.’

‘But it’s hoooot.’ Jamie whines from the top of the stairs, big brown eyes wide in his little face. The eyes are brutal and Joe has fallen for them many a time, but he stands firm, the heat of the day prickling at him again and making him impatient. ‘I mean it, Jamie. Pick these up and find a t-shirt and some shorts, then maybe we’ll do some colouring.’

Jamie relents, coming back down the stairs in grumpy stomps and picking his uniform up. He returns to the living room a few minutes later in the clothes Joe suggested, and they settle down with his favourite colouring book. Joe joins in, always laughs a little at himself at how much he, at twenty-eight, still enjoys it.

 

 

Unfortunately the peace of the activity doesn’t last, and Jamie gets bored and restless after twenty minutes. He wants to go swimming, but Joe’s got dinner on the mind now and refuses him, which causes a tantrum. Jamie’s been having a lot of them lately – screaming and crying fits when he doesn’t get his way; stamping feet and slamming doors included. So far the only way to deal with it is to stand fast and ignore it, despite it being Joe’s first instinct to do whatever he can to stop his son’s pain.

He sits on the carpet of the living room, letting Jamie rage for awhile until Jamie throws himself onto the couch, throwing Joe a tear-streaked, murderous glance and flicking on the television.

Joe stands. ‘I’m going to start dinner now, and when you calm down you can come and apologise and help me out.’

He watches Jamie carefully as he starts on a salad to go with the chicken, but the boy seems to have tired himself somewhat and watches the cartoons calmly. It doesn’t really ease Joe’s mood; he’s tired and strung out from the heat, and his brain is clouding over with everything he still has to do tonight before he can go to sleep.

First, there’s dinner, which could be a drama in itself if Jamie’s bad mood resurfaces. Then Jamie’s bath and packing for his sleepover at Aunt Demi’s tomorrow night. Demi’s the best godmother a boy could ask for, a substitute mother in the place of the real one that left when Jamie was two months old. Demi dotes on the little boy, adores him, and she babysits whenever her hectic, stupidly successful career allows it.

After the packing Joe still has scripts to read over, his agent offering him new ones every day. Joe calls himself a full-time father these days, taking on a film every few months if the location’s close by and the promotion relatively easy. He’s done some recurring guest appearances on T.V series as well, because the studios are close to Jamie’s school and the hours are easier to work with than films. His eight episode stint on ‘St Ann’s’ – a wildly popular Grey’s Anatomy clone in which he played the love interest of the female lead – has just ended and the producers are begging to sign him on as a regular. He’s considering it; network television pays well and he liked everyone that he worked with. Besides, it’s easier now that Jamie’s in school and Nick is working regular hours at the label. He just doesn’t know if he’s ready to sacrifice that much time with his son.

 

 

Joe’s just pulling the chicken from the fridge when he hears a car in the driveway. Jamie sits up on the couch and yells ‘NICK!’, sprinting on bare feet for the door. It opens just before he reaches it and Nick is already crouching to catch the flying ball of little boy that barrels into his arms. He picks Jamie up easily, hefting him over his shoulder as he walks towards Joe, who can’t help but smile at him from his place behind the kitchen bench.

‘Hi,’ Nick says with a smile. He looks tired but happy, and he ignores Jamie’s delighted squeals to put him down, resting his hand on top of Joe’s on the bench for a brief moment when Joe says hello back.

He flips Jamie back over his shoulder to hold him to his chest, Jamie’s thin arms linking around Nick’s neck. Jamie grins that toothy grin. ‘Uncle Nick, can I get a bike for my birthday?’

Nick raises an eyebrow. ‘A bike, huh? What kind of bike?’

Jamie’s off, babbling away about colours and baskets and bells. Nick nods along as he wanders back to the front door to kick off his shoes, Jamie still clinging to him like a monkey. He comes back to the kitchen and holds a big hand playfully over Jamie’s mouth to silence him as he asks Joe ‘I’ll do the bath while you finish dinner?’

Joe nods gratefully, glad he’s not going to have to engage in the nightly battle of getting Jamie back into his pyjamas.

‘Careful,’ he says. ‘He’s already had one tantrum today.’

Nick looks down at the boy in his arms. ‘Has he now? You been annoying your father, James?’

‘Nu-uh!’ Jamie insists. ‘He wouldn’t let me swim, Uncle Nick! He was being a big meanie.’

‘That’s impossible,’ Nick replies as he carries Jamie upstairs to the bathroom, his deep voice carrying down the stairs.

‘There’s no meanies allowed in this house.’

 

 

It only takes Nick half an hour to get Jamie washed and re-dressed, which is almost a miracle. They sit down for dinner at seven, and Joe sips a glass of white wine as he listens to Jamie talk at Nick between bites, the same excited stream of thought he heard in the car this afternoon.

They usually split household duties pretty evenly and technically Nick should be doing the dishes. But Jamie, clearly deciding Nick is his favourite parent tonight, whines that he wants Nick to read to him from his picture book, not Joe. Joe, not having the energy for another tantrum, waves them into the lounge and starts to wipe down the kitchen table. Nick gives him an apologetic look as Jamie tugs him into the squashy armchair, clambering up into Nick’s lap and shoving the book at him.

 

Later, Joe and Nick do a quick swap, Joe taking Jamie to brush his teeth and Nick packing his bag for Demi’s. At eight Joe settles Jamie on the lounge floor with his plastic dinosaurs and reads some scripts while Nick disappears into his office to do… something business-y. He’s worked at the record label for a long time now but Joe still doesn’t really understand the ins and outs of the job the way he should. He knows that it pays well and makes Nick happy, so that’s good enough.

He’s too tired to really focus on what he’s reading, and he gives up, putting the script down and instead watching his son play. Jamie’s got on his thin blue pyjamas with the tiger pattern on them, and his face is alight with joy and wonder as he moves the toys around on the soft brown carpet. He catches Joe watching after awhile, gifting his father with a bright smile. He’s clearly forgotten the grudge he held against Joe all afternoon, and he grabs one of the dinosaurs and hoists himself onto the couch to sit on Joe’s knees. ‘This one’s my favourite,’ he says softly, pushing the beak of a pterodactyl into Joe’s cheek.

‘Yeah? Why’s that?’

He lets Jamie talk about the dinosaur for a little while, watching the boy’s eyelids start to droop as bedtime approaches. Ten minutes later Jamie has slumped down to rest his head on Joe’s chest, still using the toy to poke at him through his shirt every so often as he talks. Joe rests his hand on Jamie’s back, still marvelling at how tiny he is against Joe’s big hand. ‘You tired yet, baby boy?’

‘No,’ Jamie mumbles, then yawns hugely. Joe laughs and gets up carefully, lifting Jamie up and carrying him towards the stairs. ‘I think it’s time for bed.’

‘Wait!’ Jamie says, wriggling a little against him. ‘I have to say goodnight to Uncle Nick!’

Joe nods and takes him into Nick’s office. Nick stands up from his computer when they come in, and he presses a kiss to the forehead of the sleepy boy in Joe’s arms, ruffling his hair a little. ‘Goodnight, little man.’

‘G’night, unca Nick.’ Jamie answers, yawning again.

Nick checks to make sure Jamie’s eyes are closed before he kisses Joe softly on the cheek. ‘I’m nearly finished,’ he murmurs, and Joe, feeling hopeful that they might actually get some time alone tonight, nods and offers, ‘I’ll be in the lounge room.’

 

He puts Jamie to bed, flicking on the night light and singing him the lullaby Nick wrote him when he was born. He’s probably too old for it by now, but sometimes he asks Joe or Nick to sing it anyway, the familiar song helping him to sleep. When Joe finishes the song Jamie breathes ‘I love you, Daddy,’ into his pillow and his breathing goes deep and even as he drifts into sleep. ‘I love you too, sweetheart,’ Joe murmurs, and sits on his son’s bed for a few minutes, just watching him.

Foolishly, Joe had thought he knew what love was, when he was younger. He sang songs about it, he declared it to his girlfriends, to his fans. But the rush of love, fear, joy, that had swelled in his chest when he had held his son in his arms for the first time had eclipsed anything he’d ever felt. He’ll never love anything as fiercely as he loves this beautiful child, and he feels overwhelmed with it for a moment, wondering how he could ever have thought he didn’t want him.

 

Jamie’s mother is a girl called Audrey. Joe had met her during his stint in theatre back in 2012. She had long blond hair and a huge, joyous laugh which matched her soaring voice. Their romance had been intense, wild, a blur of making out in dressing rooms and dirty dancing at cast parties. It had been fun, hot, meaningless. It was never meant to last, and they decided they were better off as friends a month later.

The pregnancy test came through positive three weeks after that, and Audrey had called Joe and told him the news in a panicky voice, the phone falling from Joe’s hand when she dropped the bombshell.

Neither of them could bear the thought of abortion or adoption, so they decided to have the baby. They couldn’t work as a couple, but the plan had been to make the best split-custody arrangement they could manage.

It had worked, for awhile, but Audrey, just twenty at the time, was not ready to be a mother. She’d cracked, two months into the arrangement, and had a tearful breakdown in Joe’s living room as Joe cradled a wailing Jamie to his chest.

‘I’m sorry,’ Audrey had sobbed. ‘I’m not a mother, Joe. I’m not ready. I want to live my _life_.’

‘This _is_ your life. You have a baby, Audrey. You have a son. We can do it, I swear, it will get better. We just have to work at it,’ Joe had pleaded.

Audrey had just shaken her head. ‘I don’t want to. You’re a natural father, Joe, you always know exactly what to do with him, why he’s upset, how to fix it. I can’t handle it. I can’t be tied down with a kid. I need to act, to be on stage. It’s my _dream_ , and I’m not giving it up to change diapers and mop up baby spit.’

She’d left, pressing her lips to her baby's head for one long, painful moment before rushing out the door with another sob.

Joe had stood in his empty apartment, listening to his son’s cries and feeling more lost than he ever had, a single father at twenty two. After a long time, he’d hugged the baby closer to him, and reached for his phone.

Nick had picked up after two rings.

 

 

Once Jamie’s asleep, Joe heads back down the stairs to find Nick clearing the toys scattered all over the floor. He moves to help but Nick stops him, saying, ‘I got it. You should go have a shower, you look beat.’

‘Thanks,’ Joe says, and squeezes Nick’s shoulder in gratitude as he passes him.

He takes a long shower, leaving the water lukewarm because it’s such a warm night already. When he finishes he pulls on a pair of boxers and goes back to the living room, finding it devoid of toys, Nick stretched out on the large couch.

‘Oh my god,’ Joe says, and collapses on top of Nick, resting his head on Nick’s chest in a carbon copy of how Jamie had sprawled across Joe earlier tonight. ‘I’m dead, Nick.’

Nick kneads at his bare shoulder, letting his other hand rest on Joe’s back. ‘He was difficult today, huh?’

He mutes the television as Joe starts to talk, finally having the opportunity to share his day and let Nick do the same. It’s only nine and Joe’s exhausted, trying not to think of everything he needs to do tomorrow.

Back when they were international pop-stars and not a part time actor and nine-to-five record executive with a six year old to take care of, Joe used to think of the interviews and performances and appearances cramming his schedule and it would make his head spin. But back then he had his parents, his managers and assistants and handlers to care for him, and being a dad, being an adult, is more exhausting and stressful than a tour ever was.

The trade-off, of course, is Jamie, and Joe wouldn’t change it for the world, but sometimes he wishes fatherhood had not come quite so early to him.

To Nick, too.

Joe is a parent by fate, and Nick by choice; Joe hadn’t asked Nick to move in with him when Audrey left.

He’d asked for Nick’s help, of course, but he’d meant in baby-sitting once a month, when his solo career allowed it. Instead, Nick had slotted himself into Joe’s life, fitting them back together, closing the distance which had formed between them since the band’s break up in 2010. He’d bought them this house, cancelled the plans for a new tour and let himself love Jamie as his own.

Often, over the years, they’ve fought about it. About the sacrifices Nick has made, about the life he could have had. About how maybe he should go and make his own life instead of fixing Joe’s. Whenever Joe talks like that Nick bites back about Joe’s sacrifices, Joe’s life, how he held back his own dreams for years because Nick needed him in the band. How Joe changed himself, all those years ago when Nick was diagnosed, how Joe turned himself from the shy keyboard player to the wild front man, just so Nick would have room to breathe on stage. Nick reminds Joe that he couldn’t go off and have a new life now any more than Joe could; they’re both bound to this little boy now, held by their love and devotion to Jamie, to their bizarre little family.

These days it’s up to Joe to be grateful to have Nick around, and he doesn’t let himself think of what the both of them are missing out on.

 

Their conversation winds down and Joe closes his eyes, focusing on Nick’s hand carding through his hair, the warmth and strength of his body under Joe’s. They’re about the same size, these days; Nick’s naturally stockier, broader, and has really come into his own in his mid twenties. But Joe’s decade-long obsession with the gym evens things out a little, and while his shoulders and waist are still smaller, more delicate than Nick’s, his muscles are bigger and more defined. Nick will still smirk sometimes about the inch or two he has on Joe, but whatever.

 

‘We need groceries,’ he says, not opening his eyes. ‘Jamie spilled the cereal all over the floor this morning and he wants to make cookies to take to Mom’s on Sunday.’

‘Uh-huh. I’ll go tomorrow after I drop him at Demi’s. Is there a list?’

‘On the fridge. And can you pick up a few pairs of socks for him too?’

‘What? I swear, I _just_ bought him some.’

‘Well, he’s six, Nicky, he wears things down quickly.’

‘Okay. I’ll see if I can find some dinosaur ones.’ Nick answers, affection in his voice.

Joe smiles ruefully. ‘Nearly ten years ago we were performing at the Grammys and doing sold out tours. Tonight we’re talking about socks and groceries.’

‘Yep,’ Nick replies, not a single note of regret in his voice, and Joe feels the familiar rush of love and gratitude that he gets every time Nick chooses Jamie, chooses Joe, over everything else he could, should have had.

They lie on the couch for another hour or so. Joe dozes, wakes up every so often to the rumble of Nick’ chest under his cheek as he chuckles at the Seinfeld marathon he found on channel 67.

 

When they get up to go to bed, Joe follows Nick to his bedroom and Nick doesn’t protest. Nick’s room is on the ground level of the house, tucked into the back corner behind the kitchen, while Joe’s is upstairs, across the hall from Jamie. It’s dangerous, going to bed with Nick, and they don’t let themselves do it often, but he’s not ready to stop touching Nick just yet.

 

Nick goes to shower and Joe sinks into Nick’s soft bed, waiting. Ten minutes later Nick returns in his boxers, rubbing a towel through his hair. He throws it over a chair and crawls up the bed, draping himself along Joe’s side and resting his hand on Joe’s chest. Joe cranes his head a little to meet Nick’s mouth, and they kiss lazily for awhile. Nick’s hand moves slowly down Joe’s chest to caress the sensitive skin of his stomach, and Joe shivers, feels his dick start to thicken up slowly in his boxers. He thinks about seizing the moment, getting Nick up on his knees and sliding inside, fucking Nick while Nick pushes his face into the pillow and makes those delicious gasping noises that always come out when he tries to be quiet.

As much as he wants it, Joe feels a fresh wave of exhaustion wash over him at the thought. If they’re gonna fuck he wants it to be good; wants to draw it out and take his time, make Nick come more than once, touch him all over and kiss him til they’re breathless. Tonight he just doesn’t have the energy for it, and he pushes Nick’s hand away from where it was teasing at the waistband of Joe’s boxers. ‘I’ll fuck you tomorrow night,’ he says, voice low with heat and promise. ‘Jamie will be at Demi’s and we’ll have the whole night to ourselves.’

‘Okay,’ Nick says, but his hand’s back on Joe’s boxers a moment later. ‘Hey, turn over.’

Joe blinks. ‘Nicky, I just said – I’m too tir-'

Nick huffs impatiently. ‘I’m not gonna fuck you. What, you think I’m not tired? Just turn over.’

Joe glares for a moment but complies, presses his face into the thick pillow and closing his eyes. Nick’s hands trail from his shoulders to ass in long, smooth strokes, and Joe lifts his hips to let Nick slide his boxers down his legs. He was hoping that Nick would be in the mood to blow him, but he’ll settle for his fingers if that’s what Nick wants. Nick runs his hands up Joe’s thighs, and a second later he’s parting Joe’s cheeks, licking teasingly over Joe’s hole.

Joe gasps into the pillow. Oh, they haven’t done this in _months._

Nick teases for too long, laying soft kitten licks around the tight ring of muscle, leaning back to bite at the firm swell of Joe’s ass before diving back in. Joe had forgotten just how good this felt, dirty-hot and slow; not quite enough to get him off yet but instead building, a slow burn running through his body until he’s whining, spreading his legs and pushing his hips back insistently, seeking more of Nick’s hot tongue.

Nick obeys, and the next second he’s pushing his tongue roughly into Joe’s hole. Joe moans, louder than he should, and clenches his fingers in the pillow and Nick shoves in again, fucking in in short, wet little stabs. Joe reaches under himself to wrap his hand around his dick, fever hot and hard in his hand, and jerks it sloppily in time with the thrust of Nick’s tongue. On the next good push in he’s gone, shuddering with the force of his orgasm and slumping into the bed.

He thinks maybe he dozes for a second, floating in the aftermath of it and letting Nick man-handle him under the comforter. The orgasm makes him even more sleepy, stupid, and his ears are ringing a little the way they always do after he comes really hard. He’s on the verge of sleep when he gets the vague idea that Nick needs to get off too, and he forces himself to wake up enough to slip under the covers and down Nick’s body. Nick’s muttering ‘Yeah, go on,’ voice thick with drowsiness and arousal and Joe opens his mouth to Nick’s cock, swallowing him down in one smooth movement. He’s too tired for anything fancy, just bobs and sucks wetly for a few minutes until Nick clenches his hand in Joe’s hair and comes into his mouth with a low groan.

Afterwards, he pulls off and drags himself up the bed to Nick, letting Nick curl up behind him and drape his hand over Joe’s hip. He switches the lamp off, snuggling back into Nick’s hold. ‘Real sex tomorrow night,’ he reminds Nick, and Nick chuckles like it’s a joke and kisses him behind the ear just before Joe slips off to sleep.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Nick can only stare.

"You bought him a duck."

"A duck _ling_ , Nicky." Joe says. "Spongebob's a baby duck."

"Spongebob." Nick replies flatly. "You bought your son a duckling and let him name it Spongebob."

"Sure!" Joe says.  He's grinning big and excited, and Nick has a sneaking suspicion that he didn't exactly fight hard when Jamie asked him for the animal.

Nick looks out from the porch to the back lawn. Jamie's sitting cross-legged, cradling the fluffy yellow creature in his tiny hands. Nick is pretty sure he's talking to it.

"I thought we agreed he couldn't have pets until he was old enough to take care of them."

"He's six, he's ready. It's just a duck, Nick. We'll keep it in the yard, feed it our scraps, and he can play with it on the weekend. It'll be fine."

"Spongebob bit me!" Jamie squeals. He sounds completely delighted, and he grins toothily up at them.

Joe puts his arm around Nick's shoulders, warm and heavy. "Come on. He hasn't stopped smiling since I gave it to him."

He nuzzles into Nick's neck, breath huffing against the skin. "You didn't get Elvis until you were _sixteen,_ dude. Don't let your kid wait that long."

Nick sighs. He supposes it is just a little duck. "Okay, okay. But you're cleaning up after it."

Joe smiles; Nick can feel his lips curving up. "Deal."

 

 

They force Jamie to put the little creature back in its home and come inside for dinner. Jamie's jumping up every five minutes, wanting to go check on Spongebob. "But he might be cold!" Jamie whines. "Da-addddddd!"

Joe sighs. "Finish your dinner and then we'll play with him, okay?"

They go outside after dinner. It's a beautiful night, a warm breeze wafting from the nearby beach. They sit on the porch in a little circle and Nick watches as Joe carefully lifts the bird from the cardboard box it must have come in. "Give him to me!" Jamie begs. "Gimme!"

"Patience," Nick says sternly. "And say please."

"Please, Dad. Can I have Spongebob now?"

Joe opens his palm, letting the duckling walk across it. It's pretty small - about the size of a large apple, and it digs its pink bill into the grooves between Joe's fingers. Joe chuckles. "He's tickling me."

He holds his hand out to Jamie. "Careful," he says. "He's just a baby, okay, J? You gotta be gentle."

Jamie nods solemnly, copying his father and opening his little hand, and the duck waddles across to stand on his palm. Jamie smiles, reaches out with the other hand to stroke pudgy fingers over its fluffy head.

"Am I his daddy?" Jamie asks, looking up at them. Nick and Joe exchange a look. If they let him get too attached, and something happens to it...

"Am I?" Jamie presses. "Like you? Can I be a daddy like you're my daddy?" He shifts closer to Joe and climbs slowly into Joe's lap, mindful of the ball of fluff still perched on his hand.

Joe wraps an arm around Jamie's waist, holding him steady. He laughs, skin around his eyes crinkling up. They didn't use to do that, Nick thinks suddenly. They're around each other all the time so the aging, on them both, is almost too gradual to notice. It's only when he really looks for it that Nick is reminded of his brother's true age. Joe's still so young at heart that Nick often has to tell himself that yes, Joe _is_ nearing the big three-oh.

"I think there's enough daddies in this house. Besides, you don't wanna be like me." Joe says, making a funny face, eyes crossing. "I'm c-razy!

Jamie laughs, imitating the face and turning it on Nick.

"You know the wind will change and you'll be stuck that way forever," Nick says seriously. "And you don't need to be Spongebob's Daddy. How about you just be his friend?"

"Okay!" Jamie says happily. "His _best_ friend!"

He leans over, holding the duck up to Nick's face. "Uncle Nick, this is my new best friend, Spongebob."

Nick tries to keep a straight face, but the duckling darts out and pecks gently at his chin. It _does_ kind of tickle, and he smiles. "Hello, Spongebob." He says softly.

Joe passed his heart-stopping smile onto his son, and with both turned on him full watt, Nick has to admit that the pet was a good idea.

He's going to have to build a home for it, though. That cardboard box just won't do.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

So Joe takes this job for a regular role on a network TV show, a medical drama called _St Ann's_.  As soon as the storyline of Dr. Andrew Blake airs, he's swamped in media attention in a way he hasn't been in years. The show is at the top of the ratings every week, and Blake is an intriguing and exciting character who has the viewers swooning. It's a brilliant part and he's lucky to have the job, but he has to admit that living under the microscope of the press again is difficult.

He'd been used to living in the secure little bubble of their home. Used to his whole world being Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. His routine revolves around taking care of his son; his world is laundry, dinner, games of dress-ups and building sandcastles at the beach. Sure, sometimes if there was a bored pap around they'd snap a few photos, but it's been over six years since The Jonas Brothers existed and there's honestly not that much interest for 'Joe Jonas takes his son for a walk' over and over again.

A month after his character premiers, Joe gets the invite for _Ellen_. He's utterly stoked for it - hers was always the favourite stop on their various press tours, and he hasn't been on in ages.

He kind of freaks out on the day of the taping. It's school holidays so Jamie's tagging along, and he climbs up on to Joe's bed to watch Joe get ready.

 

He doesn't seem to have anything to _wear_. A suit feels too old and over the top; he may be a dad but he doesn't want to look like one. On the other hand, ratty jeans and a band t-shirt feels like he's trying too hard to look young. He throws clothes on the bed as Jamie watches, little legs swinging over the edge.

"Are you really gonna be on TV?"

"Yes," Joe says distractedly, holding a blue button-up to his chest. "You've already seen me on TV, remember?"

Jamie makes a face. "I don't like that show. Everyone talks so fast and you kissed a _girl._ "

Joe laughs. "That show's not for kids, anyway. I don't want you watching it, it's got big kids stuff in it."

"Okay," Jamie agrees amiably. "But you should be on a cool show, then I could watch you."

"Maybe one day." Joe frowns at himself at the mirror. Black jeans or grey? The black make his ass look great but the grey go better with his burgundy shirt. "Are you all dressed?"

"Uh-huh."

"Brushed your teeth?"

"Uh-huh." Jamie opens his mouth wide to show him and Joe nods approvingly. "Good boy. Got your shoes and socks on?"

Jamie looks down at his bare feet and shakes his head. "Whoops."

"There you are," comes Nick's voice. Joe looks up and finds Nick leaning in the doorway, Jamie's shoes hanging from his fingers. He looks nice, even though he's only going to be in the audience. Joe takes a moment to admire the dark blue jeans paired with a handsome slate grey shirt. He holds the shoes out to Jamie. "Can you put these on yourself or do you want help?"

"I can do it." Jamie says, sounding insulted. He jumps off the bed and takes the shoes from Nick's hands, sitting down in the middle of the floor as he tugs his socks on.

"Are you ready?" Nick asks.

Joe shakes his head helplessly. "Why can't I do this anymore?"

"You're just out of practice." Nick says. "Here."

He strides into Joe's closet and comes out with clothes hanging over his arms. He lays them down on the bed and Joe raises his eyebrows, impressed. He doesn't have to try it on to know that it's going to work. He takes them into the bathroom and pulls it all on, taking a moment to check his hair in the bathroom on the way out. He wears it medium length at the moment, curling under his ears and the back of his neck, and sometimes it's ridiculously hard to tame.

In the bedroom, Nick and Jamie wait patiently on Joe's bed as Joe shows off the outfit Nick picked out for him. It _is_ wonderful on - deep red shirt which contrasts with his skin, black jeans, and black boots that Joe bought in Italy years ago. "How do I look?"

Jamie shrugs. "You look like Daddy."

Nick is a bit more helpful. "It's good." He says, smiling at Joe in a way that tells Joe it's _really_ good, and maybe Nick will be helping Joe to remove it later tonight.

Nick nudges Jamie. "Hey, why don't you go say goodbye to Spongebob and make sure he has some water? Your Dad and I will be down in a minute."

Jamie jumps down from the bed and runs out of the room, sneakers pounding on the stairs.

Joe turns to his dresser, rifling through his things and feeling suddenly even more nervous than ever. He hasn't done an on-air interview in years, especially on a show he likes so much. What if he's boring? What if he looks old? What if all he can talk about is his kid?

He can't find the cufflinks he wants. He can't find the watch he wants to wear either, and he swore he was wearing it last night and he can't wear the wrong watch, that will ruin _everything_ -

Nick's hands on his shoulders are a shock of warmth. "You're freaking out."

Joe hasn't even said anything, but he doesn't ask how Nick knows. They don't need to talk to read each other like that, and Joe's made no effort to hide his frantic movements, his worried expressions.

Joe forces a laugh. "Just nervous. It's been awhile. Don't want everyone to find out how boring I've become."

Nick turns him, hands on Joe's shoulders again and looking at him steadily. "You're not boring. You'll get out there and you'll be charming and handsome and interesting and everyone will love you."

Joe lets out a deep breath, feeling calm slowly returning to him. "Okay. Let's go."

 

Nick squeezes his shoulders, leans in to kiss Joe on the cheek.  "Just don't tell them about the time Jamie crawled into the washing machine and we couldn't find him for four hours. That's just embarrassing."

 

 

At the studio, Joe is ushered inside with Jamie and Nick, each with a VIP card slung around their necks. Jamie's excited and wide-eyed, tuning his head to take in everything at once as they walk down the studio hallways. He's in jeans and a bright blue t-shirt, one that Demi bought him last Christmas. It's a little too big on him but Joe's sure he's going to grow into it. Joe's nerves are calmer since stepping into the building where _Ellen_ films. It's just another interview and he's done them a gazillion times. He feels comfortable walking down the crowded hallways, PAs swarming around them, people with headsets rushing back and forth. With Nick beside him, it almost feels like he's heading for a Jonas Brothers interview. Then Jamie slips his little hand into Joe's and Joe is reminded of just how much his life has changed.

Jamie keeps up a steady stream of chatter as they're escorted backstage to the green room, remarking on everything he sees. "Dad, that guy had a walkie talkie, I think he was talking to aliens. Dad, I hope Ellen is nice to you. Dad, this floor is really shiny. Dad, that man had a plate of cookies, can I have some cookies? Dad, why are there so many people here? Dad, can we get ice cream on the way home? Dad, is the green room really green?"

When they reach the green room, which is, disappointingly, not green (Jamie is momentarily disappointed), a PA pops her head in and surveys Joe from behind her glasses. "We need you in hair and make-up, Mr. Jonas."

Joe lets go of Jamie's hand and drops to a crouch in front of him. "Okay, I gotta go. You're gonna stay in here with your uncle and watch, okay?"

Jamie nods, floppy brown hair falling into his eyes. "Okay. How long are you gonna take?"

"Not long. Wish me luck?"

Jamie wraps his arms around Joe's neck in a clumsy hug. "Good luck, Daddy. Don't be too silly."

"What, like this?" Joe says, and does an odd sort of dance, waving his arms around and making a funny face. Jamie laughs and Joe stands up, ready to go. Nick claps him briefly on the back. "You'll be fine. See you soon."

 

The interview goes really well, better than Joe expected, actually.  Ellen is as warm and welcoming as ever; the screaming women in the audience, although older than he's used to, are familiar. He laughs and tells jokes and smiles charmingly as often as he can, feeling relaxed and happy. He doesn't even know why he was freaking out so much.

Once they're done talking about the show and Joe's character, Ellen slips easily into more personal questions. "Now, you still live with one of your brothers, is that right?"

"That's right," Joe says with a nod. "I live with Nick and my son Jamie."

There's a sudden _awwww_ from the audience and Joe turns to find a picture of the three of them projected on the screen. It's from a charity event they attended last month - Joe has Jamie up on his shoulders, Nick beside them.

"Yup, that's, that's us."

"And it works, the three of you? Is it rough being a single dad?"

"You know, I get asked that alot, and I don't really consider myself a single dad. I mean, I have very strong support from my family. Nick is always there, he's great with Jamie and we split most of the work, so you know, it's no tougher for me than any other dad, I guess."

"And how's little Jamie? How old is he now?"

"He's six. He's good,  he's here today."

"He's here?"

"Uh-huh. He's backstage, hanging with Uncle Nick. He's on school holidays at the moment, so, you know, he's kind of bouncing off the walls. His favourite thing to do at the moment is painting, so we've got finger print smudges all over our walls."

"Is he like, an artistic kid? Does he sing like his Dad, or -"

"You know, he's pretty outgoing. He loves to sing, he loves sports, he likes playing dress ups. He's kind of into everything at the moment."

"And Nick's here too, did you say?"

"That's right."

Ellen smiles widely. "You know what, I think we should bring them out. Do you think they'd be up for that? A little Jonas reunion?"

Surprised, Joe just kind of nods. "Uh, sure, that'd be cool."

"Alright, we're gonna go to a break. When we come back we'll have two additional Jonases. See you soon."

 

 

When the break is over, Ellen looks back into the camera. "Okay, we're here with St Ann's star Joe Jonas. We were talking before about how your son and your brother were hanging out backstage, and we're gonna bring them out to say hi, so here we go, Nick and Jamie Jonas, everyone!"

Jamie and Nick emerge from around the corner to a burst of applause. Nick looks calm and collected as always, offering his tight little crowd-smile as he walks. Jamie looks mildly shocked by all the sound and people, but this isn't the first crowd he's been in front of and he's smiling, so Joe's not worried. When they reach the couch (a larger one, brought out to accommodate all three of them), Jamie jogs up to them, completely bypassing Ellen and instead going for Joe. "Hi Daddy, they gave me a microphone so I could talk to you." He turns around to show Joe the little battery pack strapped to his back. "That's good," Joe replies. "Come and sit down."

Nick is shaking Ellen's hand and kissing her on the cheek; when he sits down he leaves a space between them and Joe encourages Jamie to climb up into it, settling his son against his side.

"Okay," Ellen says brightly. "Hello!"

"Hi," Jamie says, suddenly uncharacteristically shy.

"We were just talking to your dad about you. He says you're on school holidays right now?"

"Uh-huh."

"And what are you doing on your holidays?"

"Ummmm." Jamie stares blankly for a moment, nervous.Joe puts his arm around his shoulders and feeling Jamie tuck himself closer into Joe's body. "Well, you play with Spongebob, don't you? Why don't you tell Ellen about that?"

"Who's Spongebob?" Ellen asks.

Jamie grins. "He's my duck."

"Your duck? You have - he has a pet duck."

Joe nods. "My idea. Nick was not enthusiastic at first but he's growing on us."

"And what does a pet duck do?"

"Well, he follows me around and he quacks when I'm not with him and he sits on my shoulder and eats carrots when I'm watching TV."

"Is he a good duck? Does he do, like, naughty things?"

Jamie shakes his head. "He's really good. But sometimes -" He lowers his voice. "Sometimes he _poop_ son my hand!" He makes a grossed out face and the audience bursts into laughter. Jamie grins, delighted and suddenly loving the attention.

"Oh dear!" Ellen says. "Do you get mad when he does that?"

Jamie shakes his head. "Nu-uh. He doesn't mean it. Everybody does poops, you know." He nods wisely and Joe manages to contain his wild laughter, channeling it into a bright grin instead.

Ellen laughs. "I do know that. So, you're in the first grade? How's that working out for you?"

"It's okay. I don't like my uniform but we play lots of games and read stories and paint pictures. Once, I drew a _big_ picture of Spongebob and Mrs. Clifford said it was the best in the class!"

"Oh, that's great! Now, Jamie, I'm gonna talk to your uncle for a little bit, is that okay?"

  
At Jamie's nod, Ellen turns, addressing Nick for the first time. They chat briefly about his career; the albums he's produced and the bands he's working with at the moment. Jamie starts squirming within the first minute. He starts poking Joe in the side, and when Joe tells him to stop it, he gets up on his knees, pulling Joe's ear down to his mouth and whispering "I'm bored, Daddy. Can we go now?"  
  
Of course the mic's still on and the audience hears, bursting into laughter again. Ellen grins. "Do you think your uncle's boring, Jamie? Don't you like living with him?"  
  
"Nuh-uh!" Jamie protests. "I like Unca Nick alot! Almost as much as Spongebob and Daddy!"  
  
More laughter. Nick chuckles. "Well, almost as much as the duck is good enough, I guess."  
  
"I love that." Ellen says. "I wish I had a duck so I could say it 'Portia, I love you almost as much as my pet duck.'"  
  
"What's your favourite thing about your Uncle Nick?" Ellen asks.  
  
Jamie screws up his face in thought. "Well," he says slowly. "He reads bedtime stories to me and he built Spongebob a house and he tells me special secrets."  
  
"Ooh, secrets, huh? What kind of secrets?"  
  
Jamie rolls his eyes. "Duh, I can't _tell_ you, sillyhead. Then it wouldn't be a secret."  
  
"Hey!" Nick says. "No calling names. That's very rude, Jamie."  
  
"I'm sorry, Ellen." Jamie says formally. "I didn't meant to call you a sillyhead."  
  
"I forgive you. I shouldn't have asked you about secrets. Okay, what about Dad? Favourite thing about Dad?"  
  
Jamie turns around on the couch, clambering into Joe's lap. Joe's arms come automatically around him, letting Jamie snuggle into his chest. "He's the best hugger ever! And he has a tattoo!"  
  
Joe's mouth falls open in shock. That is _not_ something he's ever revealed to the public. It's not something he even thought Jamie knew.  
  
"How did you know that?"  
  
Nick is laughing. "Jamie, _that_ was a special secret."  
  
"You _told_ him?"  
  
"Okay, okay," Ellen butts in with a sly smile. "So there's a secret tattoo. Where is it, what is it?"  
  
"It's nothing," Joe says. "It's, uh, it's on my hip, it's very small. I got it on Jamie's first birthday."  
  
"Can you show us?"  
  
The crowd seems extremely enthusiastic about this idea, whooping and yelling. Joe glances at Nick, questioning. Nick just shrugs. Jamie starts pounding his fists against Joe's chest, the attack completely painless but mildly annoying. "Show us, Dad!"  
  
He has a shirtless scene airing in a few weeks anyway, so Joe gives in.  
  
"Alright, alright." He stands up, transferring Jamie into Nick's lap. "Which camera?"  
  
They point out the left one and he turns toward it, tugging his shirt up on his left side. The tattoo is just above the low rise of his jeans; a cluster of three black stars - two big and one small, nestled in the middle.  
  
Joe lets the camera focus for a moment and then sits back down, feeling a faint blush in his cheeks.  "There you go."  
  
"Well, this has been a very revealing interview! Okay, _St Ann's_ airs on Thursdays at 8.30, please thank Joe, Nick and Jamie Jonas!"  
  
As they're walking out of the studio, Jamie riding on Joe's back, Jamie talks into Joe's ear. "Daddy, what does your tattoo mean?"  
  
"Well, it's two big things taking care of one little thing. It's us, baby boy. Our family."


	5. Chapter 5

As the oldest brother, Kevin decided a few years ago that the Fourth of July barbecue would be his responsibility.  So every year, Joe and Nick pack Jamie into Joe's Mercedes and drive the twenty minutes to Kevin and Dani's enormous bungalow for food, family and fireworks. Which happen to be three of Joe's favourite things.

It's the perfect day to be outside and the entire Jonas clan is gathered in Kevin's backyard, the air filled with the smoky smell of barbecue, the warm sound of Dani's laughter, and the squeals of various children as they play Cowboys and Indians on the large lawn. Jamie, now eight, is the oldest, and quite proud of that fact. Besides Jamie, the younger generation now include Kevin and Dani's twin girls and toddler son, Garbo's four year old daughter and Maya's tiny newborn girl. Kevin's also invited some of Dani's friends and their kids, and there's so many children running around that Joe's having a hard time even keeping an eye out for his own son.

Kevin, ruling the barbecue with an iron fist and a 'Kiss The Cook' apron,  suddenly turns and yells,  "LUNCH" and everyone makes a beeline for the long table that's been set up the length of the backyard. "Kids first," Dani says, Tyler resting on her hip and trying to tug her earrings into his mouth. Joe looks around for Jamie's familiar head of dark hair. Nowhere in sight.

"Where's Jamie?" he asks Nick.

Nick turns away from where he was admiring Demi's brand new engagement ring (nearly as gleaming as the smile she's worn since the day Chris presented it to her), to say, "He's off with the girls, inside."

Joe finds his son, along with a handful of other curly-haired children, in the rec room, wearing a pair of glasses with a plastic microphone held out in front of him. On either side stand Kevin's twins, Cassie and Abbie. Cassie has her curly brown hair piled on top of her head and both she and Abbie hold small plastic guitars, a gift from last Christmas. Meanwhile, Garbo's little girl Leah has been placed in the back surrounded by plastic plates and holding a pair of chopsticks, which she bangs on every so often.

Joe stares. "What are we playing?"

"We're playing bands, duh!" Jamie says. He brings the microphone to his lips and warbles, "Lovebuuuuuuuuuuuuuug!" while Abbie twirls in a manic circle. "I'm Daddy," she announces proudly, strumming her toy guitar.

"And I'm Uncle Nick," intones Cassie from the other side. She puts on the scariest, most serious face Joe's ever seen and makes her voice deep when she says, "Follow your dreams, Cassandra."

Joe can't help it, he cracks up laughing. "Very nice, everyone. Can we take a break from rehearsal for awhile for lunch?"

"Lunch!" Jamie throws down his microphone and glasses to launch and sprints from the room. "I'm getting a whole plate of mash!" he yells.

Joe helps Cassie untangle her long hair from her head and unhooks Abbie from her guitar, then places Leah on his hip and leads all three girls back outside to eat. Cassie and Abbie are identical only in looks; brown eyes, huge brown curls, and lopsided smiles. Besides that, they couldn't be more different. Cassie is exuberant and hyper, the one most likely to flush someone's keys down the toilet and then smile cheekily about it. She loves to make noise, sing and dance and keep all the attention on her, all the time. Abbie is quieter, more thoughtful, but just as cheeky when she lets her twin talk her into mischief. Jamie adores them and Joe's thrilled that his son has cousins he gets along with.

Outside, Joe is grateful to find that Nick has already organised Jamie's food (with a bit more variety than a plate full of mash) and is ushering him toward the kids' table. Joe takes Leah over to her father's lap with a, "I think this is yours," and lets Garbo take care of the rest, while Cassie and Abbie are busy harassing Dani for more chicken, no, more, Mom!

With everyone finally settled at their respective places and at least a little bit of food on their plates, the meal begins. There's enormous piles of food and drink, chatter filling the air. Joe tries to get a conversation with everyone, grateful for the chance to catch up. Everyone's life is so full and busy; Demi and Chris are planning the wedding for November and Demi begs for Jamie to be a page-boy, Danielle's new salon has celebrated it's first year in business, Maya's new baby blinks up at Joe with beautiful big eyes, and even Frankie has brought a girl to meet the family for the first time.

After lunch, full and sleepy, everyone lazes around the yard drinking coffee and watching the kids run around in circles. Joe lets Kevin fill him on life at the studio while Tyler sleeps on Kevin's chest, thumb pulled into his mouth. After years in front of the camera Kevin had decided to go behind the scenes, combining his love for children with his talent for entertainment, and has been developing childrens' programming for Disney ever since.

"Cass thinks there should be a show where dinosaurs fight hockey players in order to get the best pokemon," Kevin says with a short laugh. "Abbie just wants her dolls to come to life and start singing."

"All good ideas," Joe smiles. He points at Tyler. "And how's the little guy?"

Kevin runs his fingers lovingly through Tyler's hair. "He's doing good. Very attached to Mom these days; this is the first time he's slept on me without throwing a fit and screaming for Dani instead."

"He'll grow out of it," Joe reassures. "You remember when Jamie was a baby? Never let me out of his sight, always wanted me instead of anyone else. It's just a phase, you know he adores Nick now."

Kevin nods. "I know. And you guys are...still good?"

He asks the question carefully and Joe knows exactly what Kevin's really asking.  It's been years, but after Jamie's seventh birthday came and went without anyone even questioning why Nick still lived with them, it seems the family has accepted that this is the way things are going to stay. Joe doesn't know how much Kevin really knows about his relationship with Nick; quite a lot, he suspects. But Joe is definitely happy to let it stay under the surface.

"Yeah," he says, looking over to where Nick is giving out piggy-back rides to the kids. "We're still good."

When the sun begins to set, jackets are pulled on, picnic blankets are gathered, and Joe and Nick hold out their hands for Jamie to hold as the large group walk the few blocks to the park where the fireworks are being held. Jamie is bubbling over with excitement, making Joe and Nick swing him between them as they walk, chattering away about the games he played with his cousins today, about Uncle Frankie's awesome hair, about all the fireworks he can't wait to see.

At the park, Joe and Nick sit shoulder to shoulder with Jamie wedged between them, sitting on their legs and leaning back against his father and uncle. "Is it starting, is it starting?" he whispers. "Not yet," Nick whispers back. Then he frowns. "Hey, what's this, J?"

He's pointing at a smudged black mark on the hem Jamie's pristine white t-shirt. "It's my tattoo!" Jamie exclaims proudly. "From the game, I was playing Daddy and Cassie was being you and Abbie was Uncle Kev.."

"Okay," Nick interrupts. "So you drew all over yourself?"

Jamie nods. "I was being Daddy," he repeats. "I had to have a tattoo!"

Nick can't seem to decide whether to be stern with Jamie or Joe. "Bad influence," he says to Joe, but he's not mad. Joe shrugs. "Whatever, tattoos are sexy."

"Sexy!" Jamie repeats with a 'naughty word' giggle, and Nick widens his eyes at Joe. "Tattoos are not sexy," Nick says to Jamie. "And neither is drawing all over yourself. You're ruined that shirt, Jamie."

"Sorry," Jamie says, and sounds like he's not at all. When Kevin waves at them from the next blanket over, Jamie cups his hand over his mouth and yells, "Uncle Kev, my dad's sexy!"

Even Nick can't stifle a laugh.

 

The fireworks start with their customary bang and a hush falls over the crowded park as everyone leans back to stare at the magical show. Joe adores fireworks and knows his eyes are probably just as wide as Jamie's as they take in the whirling colours and shapes. Jamie leans back into the two of them, little body warm and squirming with happiness as he grabs at Nick or Joe's arm to say, "That one, no, that one! Wow, look at that!"

Joe grins down at his son and presses a kiss to his forehead, then snakes his arm behind Jamie's back to reach for Nick's hand. Nick looks at him over Jamie's head and smiles, the fireworks lighting up his face and hair in bright flashes of green, blue, pink. Joe squeezes Nick's hand, and Nick squeezes back.

Later that night, exhausted from the long day and so much food and excitement, Jamie is easy to put to bed.

"Hey Dad," Jamie asks as Joe tucks him in. "Is Uncle Nick ever gonna leave us?"

Joe frowns. "What do you mean?"

"I was talking to Granpa today and he said that one day Nick will have his own babies and he won't want me anymore."  
Jamie's eyes are wide and hurt-looking.

Joe sighs. It's just like their father to say something horrible like that to Jamie. "Did he really?"

"Well, not exactly, but he did say Uncle Nick might get married to some lady and then he wouldn't want me anymore, would he? I mean, he'd have his own kids to take care of and he'd love them more."

Joe kneels next to Jamie's bed and brushes his hair soothingly off his forehead. "Your granpa's right, one day Uncle Nick might get married," he admits haltingly. "But it's not happening any time soon and even if he did have his own kids, you're his first, and he'll always, always love you."

"Really?" 

"Really."

He pulls Jamie into a hug, arms tight around Jamie's small shoulders. "We love you, kiddo. Sweet dreams."

Jamie lies down and smiles at him. "Sweet dreams, Dad."

 

 

Joe is getting ready to make friends with his own pillow and comforter when he hears his brother's voice calling his name in a hushed tone. Downstairs, Nick is standing on the back porch. "You can still see some of them," he says. "Come 'ere."

They stand in silence on the porch and stare up at the dying fireworks. Nick slips his arm around Joe's waist and Joe leans into him, grateful for Nick's warmth. "Your last fourth of July as a twenty-something," Nick murmurs, still looking up at the sky. He nudges his shoulder into Joe's. "Old man."

He's been joking around about Joe's upcoming thirtieth like this for weeks now. "Oh, shut up," Joe says with a grin. "You're the one who folds your socks and has a label-maker for all Jamie's things. You act way older than I do,"

"That label-maker is genius," Nick argues for the millionth time. "He's never lost anything since I bought it. "

"And yet, he still looks like a dork with James Anthony Jonas marked out on every single pencil he owns."

Nick shrugs. "At least someone might be able to contact us if he leaves his PSP at a restaurant or something. Like somebody I know did with his iphone," he says pointedly.

"It was stolen!" Joe protests.

Nick laughs. "Sure it was."

They fall into comfortable silence again as they watch the fireworks, before Joe nudges Nick again. "You really should have let me buy some," he says.

"Absolutely not," Nick says firmly. "Letting you near fireworks is like, the worst idea I've ever heard, DJ Danger,"

"Just a couple of firecrackers," Joe whines. "I would have been safe."

"Maybe," Nick concedes. "But I really don't think it's a good idea to teach our kid that playing with fire is fun."

Joe hadn't considered that. "Good point."

"Today was good," Nick says quietly, tightening his grip on Joe's waist. "Good to see everyone."

"The girls are getting so big, huh?" Joe adds.   


"Yeah," Nick agrees. "Not as big as Jamie though. Can you believe he's nearly nine?"  
  
"Not at all." Joe turns towards his brother. "Nine years," he says softly. "We've survived being parents for nine whole years."  
  
"And we'll survive nine more." Nick's face pales suddenly. "Oh god, he's going to be a teenager."  
  
Joe laughs. "That does tend to happen after childhood, yes. Acne and girls and horrible mood swings. Can't wait."  
  
Nick leans in and dips their foreheads together. "It's weird," he whispers. "But I kind of wish he could just be our little boy forever."  
  
Joe thinks back to what their father told Jamie, about Nick running off and having his own kids. Joe has to admit that the possibility terrifies him, but when Nick talks like this he knows that what he told his son was right; this will always be Nick's real family.  
  
"He will," Joe promises. "I mean, one day he'll be an angry teenager who never wants to talk to us and the next he'll be at college and then, yeah, he'll have his own kids and we really will be old men. But he'll always be ours, Nick."  
  
"Yeah," Nick smiles. "Hey, happy fourth of July."  
  
He kisses Joe lightly on the mouth, cupping his hand over the back of Joe's neck. Joe smiles back and kisses Nick again as the last of the fireworks go off above them. "Happy fourth of July."

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

  
It's an unspoken rule that Sunday is Nick and Jamie day. It's not that Nick doesn't see enough of his nephew during the week; the hours before and after school, dinners and bedtime stories and playing with Spongebob in the backyard. It's just some of that time, Nick is tired and distracted from work, or Jamie is grumpy and sleepy from school, or Joe wants to play an epic game of Operation or Kevin brings the twins over and everything stops so Joe can coo over them with Danielle while Nick tries to keep Jamie from poking at their pink little faces and ask how they got so small and where they came from.

The point is, during the week, Nick doesn't get any one on one time with Jamie.

So on Sundays, Joe sleeps in and gets a well deserved day off, and Nick spends the day with Jamie. They don't usually do anything too special; a walk to the park, the beach, the zoo if Nick has the energy for Jamie's endless questions and the way he darts back and forth between the different enclosures, too excited to stop. The day is important to all of them; Joe needs time for himself, to sleep in, spend hours in his boxers in front of the TV or see his friends and act like the twenty-something he is. Jamie looks forward to the special treat of the trips, and Nick just likes spending time with him, seeing how he sees the world, watching him grow and learn.

This particular Sunday dawns clear and bright and warm. Nick is awoken at seven to a finger poking at his cheek. He opens his eyes and there's Jamie, standing at the side of the bed. He's still in his Spiderman pyjamas and his brown hair is crazy and ruffled. It's not curly like Nick's was at that age, but there's a little wave to it that Nick hopes will grow into curls someday, the way Joe's did.

"Mornin, kiddo."

"Hiya," Jamie whispers. He lays his hands flat on the bedspread and rests his chin on them, blinking big green eyes at Nick. He's got long, thick black lashes exactly like his father; they flutter against his pudgy cheeks as he stares at Nick. "Can we have pancakes for breakfast?"

Nick nods, stretches slowly and sits up. "Is your dad up yet?"

"Nope."

"Don't wake him up, okay? He gets to sleep in today."

"Why?"

"Because he's tired and he needs a bit of a rest."

"Why?"

Nick bites back a sigh as he climbs out of bed. Jamie hit the 'Why' phase a couple of weeks ago and it's as exhausting as it is endearing. How can one child have so many questions?

He pads barefoot down the hall, Jamie at his heels. The pyjamas have socked feet that slip and slide on the polished floors, and Jamie slides along like he's on skates, holding his arms out for balance. Joe finds this unbearably adorable and often puts on his own socks to join him; Nick teases him about acting his age but finds himself joining them in hallway races minutes later.

That's one thing Nick didn't count on - the way Jamie makes him feel like a kid again. He didn't have a normal childhood, by any means - he was a Broadway baby; his life dominated by rehearsals and performances and, jammed in there somewhere, homeschooling and hanging out with his brothers. Nick knows he grew up too fast, was so determined to be _good_ , to prove himself, to make something of himself. It made him forget to take time to be silly, to be a kid. Adolescence was the same - he spent his teenage years on stage, being mobbed by screaming girls and ushered this way and that by a bodyguard three times his size.

When Jamie was born and Nick made that enormous, insane decision that he wanted a part in his life, he only expected to age _more._

It's been the opposite. Sure, Nick has more responsibility now, more accountability, not just with Jamie but in his job and his life. He feels comfortable with it; a steady pressure that he can handle, that he welcomes. The weight of it is reassuring, reminds him what he's gaining. It's lighter than the crushing, never ending press of his life at the height of fame - planned to the second, always something new he had to do, half of it not even voluntarily. Nick will never regret his career and everything it's given him, but he admits that being a pop idol is not conducive to being a regular teenager.

Finally, at twenty-five, he feels _normal_ in a way he never realised he longed for. He has a steady routine. He gets up, he goes to work at a job he loves, and he comes home to his family. He can take out the trash without a telephoto lens trained on him from twenty feet away. His worries are not about the next number one single or whether he let slip an 'inappropriate' answer in one of his meticulously planned interviews. They're stupid, everyday, mundane thoughts - what they should have for dinner, whether Jamie needs new shoes, the back porch needing a new coat of paint.

It sounds so boring compared to the crazy rock star life they used to lead, but Nick can't seem to get enough of it. Having Jamie around doesn't age him, he reminds Nick of the simple wonder of the world. Jamie is amazed by everything like he's seeing it for the first time, and that's because usually he _is._ Watching Jamie chase fireflies around their backyard inspires Nick to write a song about the flitting little lights. Hearing Jamie's gasp of surprise when a peacock fans out its tail at the zoo makes Nick smile. Before, smiles didn't come easily to him. He held them back, hid them away like treasures, waiting for the perfect moment to bring them out. Joe, of course, was the best at finding them, smiling and teasing and joking until Nick finally showed his crooked teeth. Jamie is even better at it, and it's not even an effort. He first pulled a smile from Nick when he wrapped a tiny hand around Nick's thumb and held on tight, and he's been making Nick laugh and grin and chuckle ever since.

 

He makes pancakes while Jamie goes outside to check on the duck. It lives in a little wooden home now, one Nick painstakingly crafted one weekend.  It's an easy animal to care for, and Nick's proud of the way Jamie's taken on the responsibility. He always makes sure the little duck has food and water, spends as much as time as possible with it.

"Where are we going today?" Jamie asks as he shovels pancake into his mouth at an alarming rate.

"It's a surprise," Nick replies, taking a sip of orange juice. "And slow down, you'll make yourself sick eating like that."

 

 

Nick sends Jamie upstairs to dress and brush his teeth, and goes to do the same. When he emerges back into the lounge, he finds Joe awake, watching cartoons with a bowl of cereal in his lap. "Good morning."

"Hi," Joe says, waving his spoon and dripping milk on his old pink tank top. "You figured out where you're taking him yet?"

"There was something about a kite festival in the paper. Could be good."

Joe smiles. "Yeah, he'd like that. Take the camera."

 

When Jamie comes downstairs, Nick cleans the kitchen from breakfast. Joe pulls a tube of sunblock out of god-knows-where and beckons at Jamie with his finger. Jamie, now dressed in shorts and a bright t-shirt, stops short and makes a face. "Don't wanna."

"Come on," Joe says. "It's hot out today. You'll get burnt."

"I don't care." Jamie says stubbornly. "It's yucky. I hate it."

"Tough. Come here, please."

"No."

"Nick won't take you anywhere unless you put some sunblock on. Quick, then you can go."

"I said NO!" Jamie stamps one foot, hard on the floor.

Nick, in the kitchen, remains silent. They've found that Jamie is more likely to co-operate if it's only one of them trying to make him do something, instead of them ganging up on him. Besides, Joe is perfectly capable of handling this.

"Jamie. Sunblock. Now."

"NO! I DON'T WANT IT, IT'S STICKY AND GROSS. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME."

" _James Anthony Jonas_ _,_ you do NOT yell at me like that. You have one last chance before I get really angry. Come here."

Finally, Jamie complies, stomping over to Joe. He still wriggles impatiently as Joe kneels and smears the white goo carefully over his face, arms and legs. "Stay still," Joe mutters, and Jamie whines, trying to pull out of his grip. "Yucky," he says petulantly.  


"Yes, it's all very yucky," Joe replies, rubbing one last dollop into Jamie's nose. "You'll thank me when you don't turn into a lobster."  
  
Jamie's eyes go wide. "That could happen?"  
  
Nick sees Joe bite back a smile. "Yes. So you gotta be careful." He tickles at Jamie's side and the argument is immediately forgotten. "Don't want to be putting a lobster to bed every night, do I?"  
  
Jamie shakes his head solemnly. "Hey, Uncle Nick, have you got some sunblock on? Dad says you'll turn into a _logster_ if you don't!"  
  
  
On the way to the park, Jamie asks Nick where they're going about once every ten seconds. When they stop at a red light, Nick sighs dramatically and turns in his seat to look at Jamie. "Got a red one, J. Can you help me out here?"  
  
Jamie grins. He knows this game. He stares straight ahead, eyeing the red light. "Tell me when."  
  
Nick watches the other lights in the intersection carefully. When they turn from green to orange, he winks at Jamie. "Okay, now."  
  
Jamie puffs up his cheeks, blowing puffs of air out his mouth. "Nearly got it!" Nick encourages.  
  
Jamie blows harder, leaning forward against his seatbelt and going a little pink in the cheeks. When the light changes, he throws his arms up in victory. "Yay!"  
  
"Thanks, buddy," Nick says. "Couldn't have done it without you."  
  
  
When Jamie climbs out of the car, he looks a little disappointed. "The park?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
It's not just a kite festival, it's a community fair, too. There's stalls everywhere, selling arts and crafts, palm reading, home made soaps. Nick can smell the sickly sweet scent of cotton candy, the smoky tang of a barbecue. He takes Jamie's hand and leads him up the hill, watching the white material of the little tents fluttering in the breeze. There's families everywhere - prams with tiny babies, toddlers on their parents' shoulders, ten year olds weaving in and out of the crowd as they play tag.  He looks down at Jamie. He's grinning, turning his head to look at everything at once. He stops Nick at every stall, examining anything shiny he sees before running onto the next one. He's already having the time of his life, but the look on his face when they reach the actual kiting area makes Nick want to hug him until he can't breathe.  
  
They're on the top of a slight slope; the field spreads out beneath and in front of them. There's people _everywhere_ , weaving in and out of each other, kite strings tangling as they try to control the kites. In the sky, it's a field of colour; red kites, green kites, bright blue ones shaped like fish and purple ones that look like eagles. Nick kneels next to Jamie, getting at his level so he can see everythingJamie is pointing out. "Look at that one! It's got ribbons on it! And that one looks like a bat, and that one looks like an optopus!"  
  
"Octopus," Nick corrects gently. "Look, there's a superman one over there."  
  
Indeed there is, one of the larger ones, with legs and everything. " _Wow._ " Jamie breathes. "Can we get one, Nick? Please please please?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
There are stalls selling kites everywhere. The superman one is shockingly expensive; they settle on a medium sized rainbow one with lots of tassles.  
  
Nick sits on the grass and carefully assembles it  while Jamie manages to get chocolate ice-cream everywhere but his mouth. Nick, who learned a long time ago to carry wet wipes everywhere he goes, cleans his sticky fingers while Jamie squirms and whines. He bounces on his feet, impatient. "Can we fly the kite yet?"  
  
"Alright, come on."  
  
They find a likely spot, somewhere in the middle of the field and far enough away from anyone else the Nick hopes they won't get too tangled. He holds the kite above his head, encouraging Jamie to let out more string, no, more, until he thinks there's enough. When the wind comes, Nick tosses the kite as far as he can and it catches on an updrift, rising above them, up, up, and stopping abruptly. It's not very high yet, so he bends over Jamie, helping him unravel the string further and making sure he's holding on tight. The kite rises and rises, flying beautifully. Nick helps Jamie control it, stepping where the wind takes it and not letting the kite drift into the path of other ones. He's surprised how much he enjoys watching it; the bright colours against blue blue sky, the way the tassles flutter. Jamie is grinning widely, letting out little gasps of surprise every time the kite does something particularly interesting. The wind is strong and the string pulls tight a few times, tugging Jamie forward a few steps. Nick kneels and puts an arm around Jamie's little body, holds him steady and giving into the urge to press a kiss into Jamie's soft hair.  
  
Jamie makes a face at him; it's worth it.  
  
  
When they get home, Joe is still out. Nick calls their mom and sits out on the back porch, chatting to her and watching Jamie run, barefoot, around the backyard, Spongebob the duck quacking at his heels. "When are you going to settle down, honey?" Mom asks. "Get yourself a wife? It's bad enough that Joe's all alone."  
  
Nick fights a twinge of annoyance. "Joe's not alone, Ma. He's got me and Jamie. And I don't want a wife,"  
  
Jamie stops suddenly and the duck rams into his ankles. He laughs, crouching down to pet clumsily at its back.  
  
Nick smiles. "I've got everything I need."  
  
  
Joe walks in the door at five, shopping bags hanging from each arm. Nick raises his eyebrows from his spot on the couch. "Demi," Joe explains. He always buys more when he's out with her. "How was the kite thing?"  
  
"It was great. He's totally mad about it now. Wants to go again tomorrow."  
  
Joe chuckles. "He'll have forgotten about it by next weekend. Where is he now?"  
  
Nick points; Jamie's still outside with the duck.  
  
When Joe opens the back door, Nick hears a 'Daddy!" and Joe's voice saying, "Oh, thank god! My little boy didn't turn into a lobster!"  
  
They eat take out in front of the TV. Nick knows it's not exactly good parenting but it _is_ Sunday and they're meticulous about Jamie's diet every other day. When they're finished eating, Joe leans close to Jamie and says, "J, did you say thank you to your uncle for taking you out today?"  
  
Jamie shakes his head, crawling off the couch and onto Nick's armchair. He kneels on Nick's knees and looks at him seriously. "Thanks, Uncle Nick."  
  
"You're welcome," Nick replies. "You were very good today."  
  
Jamie leans forward onto Nick's chest, wraps thin little arms around his shoulders in a tight hug. Nick hugs back, closing his eyes. When he opens them, he finds Joe watching from the other side of the room, his smile soft and goofy.

Nick smiles back, squeezing his boy closer. He knows he never asked for this, never expected it, but damned if he's ever letting it go now.

 

 

The next day, Nick is working in his home office when Joe comes home from set. He's dressed casually in dark jeans and a blue tee, but the smile he turns on Nick when he shuts the door sends heat rushing down Nick's spine. Jamie is at school; it's been awhile since they've been alone like this.

"Hi," Joe says. He comes to stand behind Nick's desk chair, settling warm hands on Nick's shoulders and kneading gently. "How are you?"  
  
Nick reaches up to rest his hand on top of one of Joe's. "Good. How was filming?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Just fine?"  
  
Nick tilts his head up and back, looking up at Joe. He looks funny from this angle; Nick can see right up his nose.  Joe smiles down at him before he answers. "Just another day at the office. Would've been nicer to spend the day with you."  
  
"I know the feeling. Hey," Nick reaches up to wrap his fingers around Joe's wrist. "Don't I get a kiss hello?"  
  
Joe bends over him, fitting his mouth to Nick's in an upside-down kiss. It's an awkward angle but Joe's tongue is warm and familiar when it licks at Nick's lips and slips inside. Nick rests his hand at the nape of Joe's neck, holding him still and trying to deepen the kiss. Joe pulls away with a smile. "As romantic as the Spiderman thing is, this is really hurting my neck." He moves around the chair and perches on Nick's desk instead, craning around to see what Nick is doing on his computer.  
  
  
He lifts a finger to point at Nick's laptop, where he has his email open. "Is that from Dem?"  
  
It is. Nick opens it to find a link to a gossip website and the words _not again!_  
  
The article is short, titled _Will Demi leave Chris for Joe?_  
  
It's coupled with a picture of Joe and Demi, shopping bags in their hands, engaged in a hug. The article bullshits about their 'shopping date', cites 'a source' who claims Demi and her boyfriend are on the rocks, and ends with the words  ' _'Joe Jonas is a single dad but everybody agrees Demi would be a perfect mom for his son Jamie, six. Will this little Jonas finally get the family he deserves?"_  
  
  
Joe sighs, mouth twisting up unhappily. "I can't believe they keep this stuff up. I've never dated her, I never will date her, and she has a boyfriend that she's head over heels for. It must suck for Chris to see this everywhere. I'll call her later."  
  
Nick, feeling suddenly troubled, clears his throat. "Joe, do you ever think-"  
  
"What?"  
  
He shakes his head, exiting out of the window and pulling up something he should be working on instead. "Do you ever think...do you think Jamie's missing out by not having a mom?"  
  
Joe is silent for a moment, thoughtful.  
  
"I don't - I wish Audrey hadn't disappeared like she did. I mean, I get that she thought she couldn't take care of him, but she could have at least stayed in the country, saw him once a month or something. He deserves to know his real mom, you know? And I hate the idea of him thinking she didn't love him enough to stay."  
  
Nick nods. "I don't understand how she could ever - I couldn't, Joe. I could never leave him like that."  
  
Joe squeezes at his shoulder. "I know. Me neither."  
  
"So you think Jamie would have a better life if he had a mom, not...this?"  
  
 _Not me._ He doesn't say it, but they both hear it.  
  
"He has a mom. He has like, four moms. He has Dem and Danielle and Mom and Maya. He's not exactly missing female role models, Nick. Besides, I've read the research. Kids who are raised by gay couples lead perfectly normal,well adjusted lives."  
  
Nick snorts. "We're not a gay couple, Joe."  
  
"I know." Joe raises his eyebrows, rising suddenly from the desk and settling himself on Nick's lap, knees spread around Nick's hips. He loops his arms around Nick's neck. "But we sure do have a lot of very, very gay sex."  
  
He leans forward and sucks a wet kiss into the skin of Nick's neck. Nick sighs, his hands moving to settle at Joe's hips. He pushes the fabric up at Joe's side, watches his thumb stroke back and forth over the dark outline of Joe's tattoo. Joe sighs a little against his neck. "I don't have to pick Jamie up for another twenty minutes," he says, hopeful.  
  
Nick pulls away. "Joe, I'm trying to have a serious talk with you about our family -"  
  
Joe settles back on Nick's lap, looking at him sternly. "Our family is fine. Our child is fine. He's happy and healthy and he has two parents who adore him and who spoil him rotten. He has a pet duck. He eats well and he has lots of friends. What more could we possibly be doing for him?"  
  
Nick bites his lip. "I just - I wonder sometimes if this -" he gestures between them. "It's fucked up, Joe. You know that. And if it affects him, I couldn't - I just want him to be happy."  
  
Joe brushes the curls back from Nick's forehead. "Of course you do. You're his dad. No, don't look at me like that, you _are_. I know we don't say it but you love him just the same as I do. You changed his diapers and taught him how to tie his shoes, you sing him to sleep at night and then go to bed and keep yourself awake praying to God that he's going to have a good life. That's what we're giving him."  
  
Joe shifts in Nick's lap, his hands settling at Nick's neck again. "If I thought that this would harm him, I wouldn't be doing it. I love you, you know I love you like crazy, Nicky, but if it made me a bad dad, I'd stop right away. You know that. I don't stop it because _that_ would make me a bad dad. I'd be pathetic without you. This makes us happy, it makes us good parents. He's so happy the way things are. If I ran off with some woman he'd never met and told him you were moving out, he'd never forgive me. This is it, Nick. This is how it should be and it's how I want it to stay."  
  
It's not perfect, by any means. There's still the glaring question of what will happen when Jamie's old enough to ask questions; about his mom, about them. But right now, Nick believes Joe. Believes that they're doing the right thing.  
  
"Me too," Nick says, stroking again at Joe's hip. "And I love you too."  
  
Joe sways forward into a wet open mouth kiss. "I know. Now, about that gay sex...."  
  
He grinds down a little into Nick's lap and Nick bites back a groan. He glances at the clock on the corner of his computer screen. "No time. You have to go get Jamie in ten minutes."  
  
Joe rolls his eyes. "Nick, we haven't been alone together in what, three weeks? I'm starting to forget how sex even _works_. Plus, I'm pretty sure I can get you off in ten minutes. Twice, if I'm feeling generous."  
  
He licks his lips. Nick does groan this time, giving in and tugging Joe into a hard kiss. Joe responds eagerly, sucking Nick's bottom lip into his mouth. But he stops after a few moments. "No time for that," he says with a dirty grin. "I've got work to do."  
  
He slides out of Nick's lap, kneeling gracefully on the carpeted floor of Nick's office. Nick lets him turn the chair so that Joe's not in danger of hitting his head on Nick's desk. Joe runs his hands up and down Nick's thighs, flicking the button on Nick's jeans - no need for a suit when he's working from home - and leaning over to breathe hot, damp air over Nick's cock where it's straining against the fly. When he tugs down the zipper and Nick's underwear, Joe licks his lips again and Nick fists his hand in Joe's hair. "Eight minutes."  
  
"Shhh, Nicky. I'm having a moment here." Joe wraps his hand around Nick's cock, grip tight and hot as he jerks him slowly. "I remember you," Joe says, talking to Nick's cock like it's an old friend. "Hi there."  
  
"Oh my god, you're such a _freak._ "  
  
"A freak who's about to give you the blowjob of your life. Shut up."  
  
Nick has another comment ready, because seriously, Joe was talking to his dick, but then Joe opens wide and bends over Nick, taking him deep, deep, nice and slow until the head of Nick's cock nudges at the back of Joe's throat, and Nick forgets how to talk.  
  
It kind of is the blowjob of his life. Joe is hot and willing; ruthless about getting Nick off as fast as possible. He works Nick's cock expertly, knows all the little tricks that make Nick writhe in his chair. He tongues at the vein on the underside of Nick's cock, sucks the head into his mouth and swirls his tongue around it at the same time as jacking him with a hand damp from his own spit. Joe moans around him, the vibrations making his dick twitch and go impossibly harder in Joe's mouth.  
  
Nick's eyes close as he focuses on the feeling of Joe sucking him, so eager, so hungry for it. When he looks down again, he regrets closing them at all. Joe's a sight - on his knees in front of Nick, pink mouth stretched and used, dark lashes fluttering closed as he bobs on Nick's dick, letting Nick fuck his mouth.  
  
Nick's on the edge, so close to flooding Joe's throat with it, when Joe pulls off suddenly. " _No,_ " Nick moans pathetically. "Why'd you stop?"  
  
He hasn't, actually, is still pumping Nick roughly with his fist, but it's not nearly as good as the wet heat of Joe's mouth.  
  
Joe doesn't answer, just sucks his index finger deep into his own mouth, sucks on it for a long minute and pulls it out wet and gleaming. When he swallows Nick down again, the finger circles around the rim of Nick's hole, slippery and cold. Nick thrusts forward, seeking out the twin pleasures of Joe's mouth and his finger. "Joe, _please._ "  
  
Joe grins around his mouthful of dick, then sucks Nick in _deep_ , the whole length of him held in the slick warm inside of him. Nick's heart speeds up fast, faster, heat burning in his limbs and electricity sparking in his veins as he slams towards orgasm. When Joe's thick finger shoves roughly inside, Nick sucks in a huge breath. "Oh, _god,_ " he says weakly, just before he throws his head back against his desk chair and comes down Joe's throat, one hand tugging at Joe's hair and the other clenching convulsively around the arm of the chair.  
  
Coming down, he's breathing harshly, chest rising and falling as he sucks in air and tries to slow down his heart rate, thudding _tha-thump_ , _tha-thump_ in his ears. When he looks down, Joe is still on his knees, watching Nick with a fond look in his eye. His mouth is red and loose, a drop of pearly white clinging to the corner of his lips. Nick bends over him to lick at it, push his tongue into Joe's mouth. When he pulls away, he glances at the clock and laughs. "You still have two minutes left. Do you want me to give you the world's fastest handjob?"  
  
Joe laughs, rising to his feet. He's hard in his jeans and Nick fights the urge to get his hand on him as Joe steps away.  
  
"It's alright," Joe says at the door. "You've got the rest of our lives to return the favour."  
  
  
 

 


	7. Chapter 7

1\. The day of Jamie's very first field-trip, to the LA Zoo, dawns bright and warm. Jamie wanders into Joe's room at 6am and tickles Joe's feet until Joe relents and climbs out of bed, ruffling Jamie's hair and letting him sit on the edge of the bathtub and watch Joe shave. Joe rubs shaving cream over his jaw and chin as Jamie swings his socked feet, mouth running a mile a minute. "Dad, do hippos eat people?"

"No."

"Will one eat me?"

"No."

"Why do tigers have stripes?"

"For camouflage."

"Do you think Mrs. Clarke will let me poke the meerkats?"

"I hope not."

"Can I bring a monkey home?"

"Absolutely not."

"Why don't I have to shave?"

"You don't have any hair yet, buddy. One day you'll shave every day like me."

Jamie frowns. "Uncle Nick doesn't shave every day."

Joe grins. "That's because Uncle Nick isn't as cool as me."

He picks Jamie up and swings him over his shoulder, letting Jamie's tiny fists pound against the small of his back as he walks toward the kitchen. Forcing Jamie to eat the oatmeal takes ten minutes of careful coaxing (and a little bribery), but by the time Joe's feeling fully awake, Jamie's proudly showing him an empty bowl.

"Good," Joe praises. "All right, go put your uniform on. We leave in half an hour."

Nick wanders into the kitchen around seven-thirty, bleary eyed and tousle-haired. Joe grins and hands him a cup of coffee. "Field trip day. He's been up since six."

"At least he'll go to bed early tonight?" Nick says hopefully.

"More like he'll keep us up talking about giraffes all night."

Nick groans and takes a bite of toast. "Is it my pick up day?"

"Yep. 4.30, outside the zoo. East gate, I think the note said."

"DAD," Jamie yells down the stairs. "I CAN'T FIND MY MONKEY TSHIRT. "

Joe frowns. "I didn't see it in his drawers yesterday. Was it in the wash?"

"I kinda threw it out," Nick says hesitantly. "Oh, come on, it was so ratty. It had a huge hole in the side!"

"Yeah, and he loves it! Damnit, Nick, he'll be asking about it for weeks."

Nick sighs. "Buy him another one. Tell him it got lost, I dunno. I don't want my kid running around in clothes that are falling apart, okay?"

"Me neither, but you can deal with the tantrum when he figures out where it's gone."

Nick doesn't answer, and Joe goes upstairs to try and talk Jamie into wearing a different shirt.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

2.   
The thing is: Joe is a twenty-something year old male. It's kind of a given that he likes sex. Joe especially likes sex when it's with his very attractive, very talented twenty-something little brother.

However.

Joe and Nick are not just any twenty-somethings. They're parents, and as Joe has learned, most of the time, sex is pretty much the last point of the agenda. Sex is the 'if we have time,' the 'maybe later,' the 'if I haven't passed out by then.' Sex is an afterthought behind groceries and laundry and cleaning and cooking and work and making sure Jamie doesn't try and shove a crayon up his nose when Joe has his back turned.

It's a Saturday morning and they let Jamie stay up til 11 watching the football on TV last night, so Joe is sure that he'll sleep in. He sets his alarm for 6am and sneaks downstairs in the cold morning light. He lets himself into Nick's bedroom and locks the door, absolutely determined to get off from something other than his own hand.

He's in the process of peeling out of his sleep shirt, about to crawl into a still-sleeping Nick's bed, when he hears the echo of a door slamming and his son's voice yelling, "DAD, LET'S GO TO THE BEACH TODAY."

Jeo swears loudly and pulls his shirt back on. Nick is waking slowly, blinking at him in confusion. "Joe, what are you doing in my room?"

"I was trying to have sex with you," Joe mutters as he unlocks the door. "But nooooo, your son had to wake up at the crack of dawn and ruin everything."

Nick yawns. "He's only my son when he's annoying you."

Joe pulls the door open just in time for Jamie to come flying through it, leaping onto Nick's bed and jumping on his legs. "Uncle Nick, I can't find Dad!"

"I'm here," Joe says from the door. "Don't bug your uncle, okay? Just because you're up early doesn't mean he can't sleep in."

Jamie frowns. "But it's Saturday! We're supposed to go to the beach today!"

Nick nods from where he's sitting up in bed. "That's right. But breakfast first. Go feed Spongebob and I'll come make you some toast."

Jamie leaves the room and Joe locks it again, kneeing up onto the bed to press a closed-mouth kiss to Nick's lips. "We will have sex tonight," he says. "Even if I have to send him to Mom's or lock him in his room with a DVD."

Nick kisses him properly, seemingly uncaring about the morning breath issue that Joe was trying to avoid. "Tonight," he says, running his hand up Joe's thigh. "I promise."

 

It's hot and bright at the beach, sun warming Joe's skin when they settle on towels near the shore. Jamie squirms impatiently the entire time Joe's forcing sunblock on him. After, Jamie digs into Nick's bag and retrieves the brightly coloured plastic spade and bucket and sets about building a pretty epic sandcastle. Nick rubs the sunblock over Joe's back, hands lingering a little too long. Joe leans back into him, just a bit, and allows himself to send Nick a dirty grin over his shoulder. He remembers Nick's promise from this morning and licks his lips, feeling Nick's gaze settle on his mouth for a long moment.

"Dad, look at my sandcastle!" Jamie yells, and Nick and Joe both startle, caught. Joe pulls away to help dig a moat around Jamie's castle.

Joe plays with Jamie in the surf, letting him ride his shoulders and ducking under the water to blow bubbles. Jamie's not a very strong swimmer and Joe keeps a watchful eye; knows Nick is doing the same from the shore. Later, they walk to the kiosk for ice cream and Jamie chases seagulls on the boardwalk while Joe and Nick stroll behind. "Good day?" Joe asks.

Nick smiles at him.There's a fleck of icecream on the corner of his mouth and Joe's desperate to lick it off. He settles for letting his hand brush Nick's when their arms swing between them.

"Yeah. Good day," Nick agrees. He turns to face Joe as they walk, raking his eyes over Joe's bare chest, openly appreciative. "Tonight will be better."

 

Neither of them want to admit that they haven't actually figured out how they're going to find time alone together. Joe supposes they could drop Jamie at Demi's or something, but it makes him feel like a bad father to pass his kid off just so he can get laid.

In the end, the solution comes out of nowhere. When they arrive home Jamie's best friend from down the street is waiting at the gate with his mother, asking if Jamie can come over to play. Jamie turns begging, expectant eyes on his parents and Nick and Joe agree immediately, exchanging stunned grins over the lucky break.

Alone in the empty house, Joe stares at Nick and doesn't know quite what to do with himself for a minute. Then his brain starts working properly and he's tugging Nick down the hall to Nick's bedroom, all rough hands and hard kisses. He practically tackles his brother to the bed, crawling on top of him so they're pressed together from head to toe. They're still in t-shirts and shorts and Joe thinks vaguely that this usually works better when they're naked. But it's so good just to kiss Nick, opening his mouth over Nick's again and again while Nick's hands squeeze at his shoulders. Nick lets his legs fall open so Joe can slot into the cradle of his hips, their cocks sliding against each other through the thin material of their shorts. Joe groans and speeds up, grinding down harder. Nick wrenches their mouths apart, letting his head drop back against the pillow. "We have all afternoon," he reminds Joe breathlessly. "Slow down."

"Slow is for later," Joe whispers. He lets go completely, rutting against Nick in blind instinct, too desperate for finesse. He comes too fast, orgasm ripping through him and making everything go gloriously blank except for that white hot feeling. Once he's got at least some of his breath back, Joe works Nick's body, pushing every button he knows until Nick's shuddering and thrashing beneath him, following Joe over the edge.

"You're a jerk," Nick pants afterwards. "Frottage? Really? What are you, fifteen?"

Joe laughs sheepishly. "Hey, don't pretend you didn't like it. Besides, we spent our teenage years jerking off in tour buses and pretending we weren't just as horny as every other boy our age. We're just making up for lost time."

Nick raises an eyebrow. "Recapturing our youth. That's your excuse for jizzing your pants just from grinding."

"You did too!" Joe looks pointedly at the wet spot at the front of Nick's shorts.

"Yeah, because you played dirty," Nick laughs. "Come on, I need a shower."

 

With the edge taken off, it's even better when they return to the bedroom later. Joe gets Nick up on his knees and fucks him slow and deep while Nick sighs into the pillow and chants Joe's name under his breath, over and over.

Joe is pretty sure it was worth the wait.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
3\. Joe does his absolute best to keep his schedule under control so that he doesn't turn around one day to a hit TV series and a son he doesn't know. He spent hours fine-tuning his contract with St Ann's to avoid just that, but when the entire cast gets invited to England for the show's overseas launch, he really can't say no. Even when it is an entire week away from his family.

This is how he explains it to Nick that night, while Jamie's in the bath.

Nick rubs his hand over his jaw, thinking. "Are you sure he's gonna be okay with you gone for a week?"

Joe shrugs. "I don't know. He'll have to get used to it sometime. I can't be here everyday, and he'll have school camps in a few years, he'll have to be apart from us then. Plus, you'll be here, it's not like we're abandoning him."

Nick shrugs. "Well, we'll see." He doesn't know exactly how he feels about it, to be honest. It's not that he doubts his ability to care for Jamie without Joe around, it's just that he's never done it for so long before.

Jamie is adorably confused when Joe patiently explains that Daddy is going on a little holiday for a few days and yes, you have to stay home with Uncle Nick.

"Why can't I come?" Jamie asks, eyes wide as he looks at Joe across the dinner table.

"You have school," Nick says, leaning over to lift Jamie's sleeve out of a pile of ketchup on his plate. "Dad will call every day, and you and me will have a special week all to ourselves."

Jamie looks skeptical. "Okay," he says slowly. "but you have to promise to come back. Spongebob will be mad if you don't."

Joe laughs. "I would never do anything to upset Spongebob."

Joe's flight is at stupid-o-clock in the morning, so he says goodbye to Jamie the night before, slipping into his son's room and taking far longer than usual to say goodnight. Later, while they're waiting for Joe's cab, Joe is nervous and jumpy. "If anything happens, you'll call me right away?"

"Of course," Nick says patiently.

"And make sure he gets to bed before nine, you know what he's like if he doesn't sleep properly."

"I know."

"He's got Show and Tell on Thursday, don't let him take Spongebob for the seventh time."

"I won't."

"Don't forget to buy groceries, he'll throw a fit if he doesn't have pudding in his lunch."

"Joe!" Nick places his hands on Joe's shoulders, squeezing tightly. "I know all this. I know how to take care of him, and we'll be fine, okay? Just calm down."

"I'm sorry," Joe says hopelessly. "I've never been away from him for so long."

The cab honks outside and Joe glances at the stairs. "Do you think I have time to give him one more hug?"

"No," Nick says firmly. "He's asleep. You're going to miss your flight."

He kisses Joe soundly, wanting to be able to remember it while they're apart.

The cab honks again and Joe reaches for his bag, walking backwards out the front door, staring at Nick like a lost puppy. "Call when you land," Nick calls. "I love you, and Jamie and I will be here when you get home."

 

It's a difficult week. Nick never really realized exactly how much Joe did until he's gone and Nick has to do it all by himself. Balancing work with Jamie is exhausting and stressful, and Joe's not around to take the edge off. Usually, if Nick has a long day he has a shoulder-rub and a couple of kisses to look forward to. Usually, if Jamie is being impossible Nick can escape to his den until Joe gets him giggling again. Usually, Joe makes some of the meals, does some of the housework, keeps Jamie entertained and happy. They're a team, and when Nick finds himself a single parent for the first time in six years, he's not sure he handles it very well.

Jamie throws an enormous tantrum on the third night, refusing to eat his dinner, refusing to take a bath. When Nick threatens sending him to bed with no TV, Jamie throws his dinner plate on the floor and bursts into tears. The crying and screaming lasts nearly half an hour and there's absolutely nothing Nick can do to get the boy to calm down. Cajoling, threatening, begging - he goes through every single trick he's ever used, but Jamie won't respond. He sits on the bottom of the stairs, knees drawn up to his chest and sniffling wetly. "I - want - Dad," he keeps saying. "I want Dad."

Nick runs his hands through his hair. He knows he shouldn't be indulging Jamie when he's behaving like this, but he really is desperate. He sits on the step beside Jamie and pulls his phone out. "First I need you to apologise for yelling at me and throwing your plate."

Jamie is quiet for a long moment, then turns big, wet eyes on Nick., genuinely remorseful. "Sorry."

"Thank you," Nick replies, pulling Jamie into a sideways hug and leaving his arm heavy over the boy's shoulders as he presses the first speed dial.

It rings nearly five times before Nick remembers the time difference and realizes he's probably waking his brother up at some ungodly hour. He's ready to hang up and bribe Jamie with ice-cream instead when the call connects and Joe's voice answers, "'Lo?"

He sounds thick and woozy and now Nick's sure he's waking him up. "It's me," he says. "Jamie wanted to talk, but I forgot about the time difference, so we can call back -"

"No!" Joe interrupts, sounding more alert. "It's fine." There's a rustling noise and Nick imagines Joe sitting up in bed, rubbing his hand over his stubbled jaw, eyes half closed and hair messy. The image makes him ache and he pulls Jamie in closer, bringing the phone up to his mouth so he can say, "Okay. Hi."

"Hey," Joe replies. "It's good to hear your voice. You got my little rascal there?"

"Hi, Dad!" Jamie says in a high, happy, voice. "You sound funny."

Joe laughs. "Hey, kiddo," he says, voice warm. "I was sleeping, that's why I sound funny."

"But it's not bedtime yet."

"It's bedtime where I am."

Jamie frowns, timezones a concept still a bit too complex for him. "That's silly."

"I guess so. So how's my boy?"

Nick listens carefully as father and son reconnect across thousands of miles of distance. Jamie's grinning and talking fast the way he always does when he's excited, squirming with laughter when Joe does a terrible English accent for him. Joe sounds happy and relaxed, talking about interviews and launch parties and all the interesting things he's seen in London. Jamie clings to his every word, and nearly snatches the phone right out of Nick's hand when Nick tries to wind down the conversation.

"Daddy needs to go back to bed," Nick says gently. "And I need to talk to him for a minute first, so you have to say goodbye now, okay?"

"But Niiiick," Jamie whines, turning wide green puppy eyes on him. "I don't wanna."

"Yeah, Niiiiiiiiick," Joe says down the line, and Nick knows that he's making the exact same face. "We don't wanna."

"You have an early call tomorrow," Nick says firmly. "You need to sleep. So does your son."

"Fine," they both grumble.

"Daddy, are you sure you're coming home soon?"

"Yes, JJ. Very soon."

"Okay. Spongebob misses you. I miss you."

"I miss you too, sweetie. I love you."

"Love you, Daddy!"

Nick prises the phone slowly out of Jamie's small hand. "Can you go put your pyjamas on while I say goodbye, please? I'll come up and read to you in five minutes."

Jamie nods. "BYE DADDY," he yells again, and clambers up the stairs.

He only gets to talk to Joe alone for a few minutes, because he was right, pretty much all of them need to go to bed at this point.

"It's weird," Joe says. "I keep waking up in this empty hotel room expecting either you in the next bed or Jamie to come in and jump on me. And every time I cross a road I'm reaching out my hand for him to take it but he's not here."

"He misses you," Nick murmurs. "He's being brave but I know he doesn't like you being away."

"I don't like it either. I thought it would be fun, you know? To relax and and hang out with people my own age, and it is, you know I love England. I just keep seeing places and imagining how much he'd like them. We should bring him over here sometime."

"Sure," Nick says, seeing Jamie all bundled up against the English cold, mittens and scarves and snowball fights. "I'd like that."

"Been thinking about you, too." Joe says, tone suddenly secretive. Tender. "Missing you."

Nick grins and tries for a teasing tone. "Pathetic. Can't even last a week without me."

"Nope," Joe says, not teasing at all. "Not really. Which is why the next time I go anywhere, you're coming. So is our son."

"Deal." Nick replies, and knows he doesn't have to say it for Joe to know that he misses him too.

 

Nick wakes up in the middle of the fifth night, blinking in the darkness and momentarily confused about what woke him. There's a sliver of light falling across his bed and he notices that his bedroom door is open. Jamie is standing in his doorway, looking hesitant and scared. "What's wrong?" Nick asks, sitting up. "Are you okay?"

Jamie shakes his head slowly. "I had a scary dream," he says, voice all trembly. He sucks his thumb into his mouth and doesn't move. Nick pulls back his duvet and gestures at the empty spot next to him. "Come on," he says gently. "It's okay."

Jamie crawls up onto the bed and curls up against Nick's side, letting Nick draw the covers up over them both. Nick knows it's not the first time, is aware of the nights that Jamie has slipped in under Joe's blankets to tell of monsters invading his sleep. He's never come to Nick before, and Nick is pretty sure that's just because Joe's room is so much closer.

"Tell me about your dream," Nick says, lying down and watching Jamie's face carefully as his nephew starts to talk.

"There was a big octopus," Jamie says. "It wanted to eat me, and then Pikachu was there and he was gonna save me but then he ran away and the octupus was chasing me -"

"How did it chase you? Were you in the water?"

Jamie frowns. "No, it was flying, silly."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It was chasing me and chasing me and I kept running and I was really, really scared."

Nick smooths down Jamie's soft brown hair. "Well, it's all okay now. No scary octopus is gonna get you while I'm here, okay?"

"Okay."

"Can you go back to sleep now?"

Jamie yawns. "Dad sings to me. Can you sing to me?"

Nick props himself up on one elbow, leaning over Jamie and singing the first thing that comes into his head, _"You are the sunshine of my life..."_

Jamie's eyes are closed before Nick even hits the second verse.

Joe's flight is expected to come home late on the Friday night, and the plan is for him to just get a cab home from the airport and see them in the morning. Of course, Jamie has other ideas. He goes to bed obediently at his normal time, but at 11:30 Nick hears footsteps on the stairs and Jamie is stepping into the living room, clutching his blankie in one hand. He's wearing his favourite green pyjamas and the tiny Ugg boots that Lisa sent over from Australia.

"Another dream?" Nick asks, patting the couch next to him.

Jamie shakes his head. "Is Dad coming home yet?"

"Not for another couple of hours."

"Can I wait for him?"

Nick shakes his head. "You should go to bed, J. He'll be home in the morning."

"Why do you get to wait up for him?"

"Because I'm old enough that I don't need as much sleep as you."

Jamie comes and sits down on the couch beside him, squinting at the TV. "Dad says you don't sleep enough."

"Dad stays up after midnight reading lines and then goes for a run at dawn. He's not really in a position to judge."

Jamie shrugs. "Okay. What are we watching?"

Nick tries a few more times to get Jamie to go back to bed, but in the end he knows it's futile. Joe's flight lands in an hour and Jamie will spring out of bed the minute he hears the front door close. Jamie's wide awake when Nick turns to him and says, "Hey, you wanna go for a little drive and pick up Dad?"

Jamie's eyes widen and he nods frantically. Nick grabs his keys.

 

When Nick parks at the Arrivals gate, he turns to help Jamie out of the seat and almost laughs when he sees that Jamie has fallen asleep. "You tried," he says quietly, lifting Jamie out of the car and holding the sleeping five year old to his chest as he walks into the terminal.

When Joe emerges at the gate, he doesn't notice Nick, and Nick just stares at him for a minute, pleased. Joe looks scraggly and exhausted, hair sticking up in six directions and walking with the slow, determined pace of someone who really just needs a bed to collapse into. He's got a beanie pulled low over his hair, a crinkled t-shirt and a shadow of stubble across his jaw. Nick wants to hug him for ten minutes and then make him sleep for a year.

Joe spots them, doing a quick double take before his face breaks into a tired smile and he's jogging towards them.

"Hey," Joe says, expertly manoeuvring himself so he can hug Nick but not disturb the sleeping boy in Nick's arms. "This is a nice surprise."

Nick hugs him back as best he can, breathing in Joe's warm scent, only partly obscured by the stale smell of airconditioned plane air. Joe's stubble scrapes across Nick's cheek and he presses a kiss, lightning-fast, to where Nick's jaw meets his ear before pulling away.

"He wouldn't sleep," Nick explains. "So I thought we'd come see you instead."

"Daddy?" Jamie lifts his head from where it was buried in Nick's neck, smiling blearily at Joe. "You're home!"

Joe's smile is blinding. "I sure am."

He lifts Jamie from Nick's arms, hugging him close and kissing Jamie's hair. He looks at Nick over Jamie's head, reaching out to cup the back of Nick's neck in one warm hand. "My boys," Joe says, still smiling, eyes crinkling up at the corners.  "It's good to be back with my boys."

They walk out of the terminal together, Joe whispering stories into Jamie's ear until his son falls asleep in his arms. Nick watches them with a smile on his face, heart full to bursting at having his family back together again.


	8. Chapter 8

(for audio/visual reference, I suggest you watch this [ridiculously adorable video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzWtMNZzCjo&feature=related) first.)

 

It hasn't been the easiest of days at the studio. Nick loves his job, he really does, but it certainly has its frustrating moments as well. By five o clock, he's definitely ready to climb into his Mustang and head home.

The house is quiet when Nick's key turns in the lock and he's careful to close it softly behind him - they've learned quickly that a Jamie woken up early from a nap is a very unhappy Jamie. Nick toes off his shoes, puts his bag down on the table in the hallway, and follows the low hum of the tv into the living room.

Joe is on the floor, his back propped against the edge of the sofa, socked feet crossed at the ankles. Jamie is curled against Joe's chest, little toddler body safely enveloped in his father's embrace. They both seem to be asleep.

Nick feels some of the tension of the day slip away from him at the sight and he can't repress a smile. He steps into the room and bends down to gently prise the remote control out of Joe's slack grip, flips the channel to the evening news and seats himself in the cushy armchair nearby.

There's a bunch of stuff on the TV that he should probably be paying attention to, but Nick finds his gaze keeps returning to the sleeping pair on the floor. He can't help how his gaze lingers on them - Jamie's soft, smooth face resting against the checkered fabric of Joe's shirt, how Joe's hand is cupped protectively around his son's head, fingers slipping into the dark hair. They look so alike, too - Jamie has Joe's nose, his hair, his big eyes and long lashes. There's something about the two of them - father and son; this unique, special closeness that even Nick can't touch, and he doesn't want to. He knows that this is exactly how things should be - like Joe's life really came into being the first time he held Jamie in his arms. And Nick had seen it, even then - had watched Joe's face, seen the tears in his eyes and known - Joe would never love another person as much as he loved his son in that moment.

Nick is still gazing at them when Joe stirs, his eyes blinking open slow and dazed. His fingers flex and curl in Jamie's hair as he wakes, his eyes meeting Nick's across the room.

Joe's mouth spreads into a dopey smile. "Hey, when did you get home?"

His voice is quiet, just above a whisper and Nick lowers his own voice to match. "Bout a half hour ago."

"How was your day?"

"Frustrating. Yours?"

"Loud. This new shrieking thing he's doing is splitting my eardrums, I swear."

"I know, he did it to me in the middle of Starbucks the other day, I haven't gotten that many death-glares since that time we ran into a bunch of Bieber fans at the KCAs."

Joe laughs. He tries to sit up straighter and Jamie's face scrunches up at the movement. Joe's hand smooths up and down Jamie's back as Jamie comes slowly back to wakefulness. Joe smiles when Jamie finally raises his head to look at him. "Hey, Jay-Jay. Nice nap?"

Even though he's awake, Jamie doesn't seem too inclined to move. He just slumps against Joe, his thumb finding its way into his mouth as he gazes blearily around. Joe jostles him slightly as he sits up all the way. "Hey, Jamie. Guess who's here? Guess who came home while we were sleeping?"

Jamie starts to look around the room, Joe still whispering in an excited voice. "Who's that? Is that your uncle Nick? Is it?"

Nick waits patiently for Jamie to turn and find him, smiles over at his nephew.

"Unca Nick!"

Jamie clambers off his father, almost falls on the soft carpet, rights himself, and waddles unsteadily across the room towards Nick's chair. "Unca Nick!"

He steadies himself against the chair, looking up at Nick with a huge smile. Nick bends over and fits his hands under Jamie's arms, lifts him easily into the chair and lets Jamie stand on his thighs, holding his hands to keep him steady. "Hi, little dude."

Joe pulls himself to his feet and stands, stretching languidly. His shirt rides up to reveal the tanned skin of his lower stomach, the dark outline of his tattoo peeking out of his underwear. When he catches Nick looking, Joe grins. "I'm gonna go figure out something for dinner."

Jamie is already starting to get wriggly and energetic again, bouncing on Nick's legs.

"What did you do today, Jamie?"

 

"I played chasey. And I - and then I cried.  And that hurt. I did a big slip! And I cried."

His speech is still pretty basic; almost impossible to understand to anyone but his parents. Nick is so used to it that he understands most of what Jamie is talking about.  


"You slipped and you cried?"  
  
"Yeah." Jamie looks off into the distance, his hands squeezing against Nick's. "I was gonna - and then I made a owie."  
  
"Oh, no. But did you have fun?"  
  
Jamie nods. "Daddy gave a kiss - better."  
  
"Daddy gave you a kiss and made it better. That's good. Can I see?"  
  
Jamie pulls up the sleeve of his shirt and shows Nick a tiny scrape on his elbow. Nick frowns exaggeratedly. "That's a big owie! I bet you were really brave."  
 

Jamie nods. He lays his palms flat against Nick's, moving them around in big circles, watching the movement. "Unca Nick, eat?"

"Soon. Daddy's making us something right now. Can you wait a little while?"

"Okay."

 

He places Jamie in his playpen a little while later, going to find his brother instead.

Joe looks up from the stove when Nick enters the room. "Just pasta," he says with a shrug. "I couldn't be bothered with much else."

 

"Pasta sounds good."

 

Joe leaves the pot to boil and turns his attention to Nick instead. He leans back against the counter, reaches out for the edge of Nick's shirt and tugs him forward. Surprised, Nick stumbles and ends up pressed against his brother from chest to knee. Joe is smiling lazily, his eyes on Nick's mouth. "Hi."

 

Nick lets himself be pulled into the kiss, lets his hands wander down to ruck up Joe's shirt and touch at the bare skin he was admiring earlier. Joe's hand curls around his neck, his thumb brushing the spot just below Nick's ear.They break apart slowly and Joe hums a pleased, "Mmm," sound, his hand still resting against Nick's neck. "What do you think are the chances he'll go to bed early and sleep through the night?"

"Uh, slim to none."

 

"That's what I thought." Joe smiles wryly. "I'll just have to save all my dirty plans for this weekend."

 

"This weekend?" Nick says hopefully.

 

"I told you about this already. Mom's taking him on Saturday night? And we'll have the whole night to ourselves. Completely toddler free. I thought we could go bowling or to the movies or something."

  
"Or," Nick lets his fingers dip below the waistband of Joe's jeans, touching at the place he knows Joe's tattoo is. "We could just stay in bed."

 

Joe grins. "That is also a possibility."

 

They kiss again, this time deeper and longer. It only ends when they hear the high, thin cry from the next room - a long, whiny, "Daaaddddy," and Joe steps away from Nick completely. "You better go get him," he says, switching off the stove. "Dinner's ready."

 

"Alright," Nick is halfway out the door when Joe calls his name. "Yeah?"

 

Joe is setting down three plates for dinner, as always. "I'm glad you're home."

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

The hilarious thing is that even though Joe was always the one who was great with kids, Nick is also such a dad. Joe sees it all the time - the way Nick lets himself show every emotion around Jamie, how open and warm he is, affectionate in a way he isn't with any adult.

(Except maybe Joe.)

Even when Nick is in Big Shot Producer mode, it shows.

He's been in the studio for the past few weeks, working on the debut record of his latest find; a twenty year old jazz singer who he insists is the second coming of Etta James. Joe visits him there once or twice a week; a mini-excursion for himself and Jamie.

"C'mon baby, we're gonna go visit Uncle Nick," Joe says as he straps his 18 month old son into the carseat. Jamie gurgles happily and blurts, "Gawoo!", which Joe and Nick have translated to something like "Yay!", and Joe grins. "Yes, gawoo. You have your blankie? Good boy." He touches affectionately at the downy-soft brown hair covering Jamie's head and does up the last buckle.

Outside the studio, Joe releases Jamie from his seat and pulls him into his arms, one hand steadying against Jamie's back as he holds him to his chest. He has the stroller in the trunk but Joe prefers to just carry Jamie when he's not going far, and Jamie fusses if he's left in the stroller too long anyway.

The red 'recording' light is on when Joe slips into the little room, trying not to distract his brother from the sultry sound of Michelle's voice. Nick looks up from the soundboard, headphones still over his ears, and smiles. "Hey," Nick mouths, and Jamie begins to wriggle in Joe's hold, trying to get to his uncle.

Nick turns in his swivel chair and holds out his hands, taking Jamie into his lap as Joe settles into the seat beside them, squeezing briefly at the back of Nick's neck in greeting as he goes.

Jamie is surprisingly quiet in Nick's hold, looking around the room with big green eyes. He loves coming into the studio - the lights and sounds perfect for keeping the excitable toddler entertained. Nick works naturally around him, shifting Jamie in his lap as he leans forward over the controls, twiddles with the bass levels. Jamie is trying to reach out and touch all the glowing buttons but Nick keeps him at bay for now; as soon as the recording is done Jamie will be allowed to play. 

When Michelle's song is over, Nick lifts his headphones off and turns his full attention on his nephew. "Hey, little J! How you doing?"

Jamie grins at him, babbling nonsense words and snuggling into Nick's chest, Nick's big hands holding him steady so he doesn't fall right off him in his enthusiasm.

"He's trying so hard to talk," Joe says fondly, watching as Nick helps Jamie take hold of his dogtags necklace, murmuring, "Yeah, it's shiny, isn't it?"

"Mmm?"

"I swear he nearly got out a 'Nick' when I was feeding him this morning. Although he might have meant 'nap' because he fell asleep like five minutes later."

"He'll get it when he's ready," Nick leans back in his chair, looking up at Joe. "She's sounding fantastic," he says, indicating where Michelle is standing behind the thick glass, speaking to her manager.

Joe grins. "Awesome. Another hit record from your uncle, little dude, hey?"

"Gawoo!"


	10. Chapter 10

Mornings in the Jonas household are kind of an event. Jamie tends to wake at about five, stirring Joe and Nick from bed with grumbles and yawns. Joe still likes to go for a run most days, so Nick sees to getting Jamie dressed while Joe is out. By seven, Joe is standing in the kitchen, sweaty and messy in a tank top and shorts that are frankly far too short for a father to be wearing. Jamie is in his high chair, fingers wrapped around a plastic spoon as he clumsily feeds himself porridge. "Are you that busy?" Nick asks.

Joe sucks down on his water bottle for a moment, brow furrowing. "What?"

"Are you that busy that you don't have time to buy work out shorts that actually fit you?"

Joe snorts. "These shorts are awesome."

"Yeah, they would be, if you were sixteen."

Joe abandons the teasing in favour of sitting beside Nick in front of Jamie, reaching out to stroke his finger down one cheek. "How's your breakfast, little man?"

Jamie doesn't answer, but they don't really expect him to. He doesn't talk much, yet, just one word sentences, 'Dada' , 'Want', 'No, 'Nick'.

Nick answers for him. "He's doing good. Nearly finished everything." Jamie reaches for his cup of juice and Nick helps him wrap his fingers around it as he talks to Joe. "We're due at Mom's at two, right?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Well I think someone-" Joe's voice goes all high and silly and he reaches out to let Jamie wrap his fingers around Joe's. "-is gonna need a nap before then."

 

Their parents still insist on 'keeping the family together', and it seems to work pretty well. Kevin and Danielle live nearby, their parents and Frankie closer still, and they manage to meet up on a pretty casual basis at least once a fortnight. Mom babysits sometimes too; totally charmed by her first grandchild, but Joe and Nick prefer to spend as much time as they can alone with Jamie. It feels special and somehow fragile, this little family they're building, and Nick doesn't need Mom barging in and pulling it apart. Dad's worse - he's never fully recovered from the disappointment of Joe having a child out of wedlock at such a young age, and Nick quitting live music in favour of raising Joe's child with him is unforgivable.

So lunch at Mom's is not exactly something they look forward to, especially coupled with the logistics of getting a toddler halfway across town. He comes out of his nap badly, screaming in Nick's ear as he changes his diaper. As Joe straps him into the carseat, they realise they've left Blanky behind, which is going to be a problem, so Nick dashes back inside while Joe tries to stop Jamie from taking his own shoes off.

 

When they reach Mom's, Joe pulls Jamie out of the carseat and into his arms, careful to bring Blanky too, because Jamie will throw a fit without it. As he reaches out to turn the doorknob, Nick presses a hand to the small of Joe's back. "Just - don't engage with Dad, alright? He'll try to rile us up but it's not worth it."

Joe nods shortly. "Not here to argue."

 

Mom opens the door with a wide smile, kissing them both on the cheek and already cooing over Jamie. "Hey my little grandson, hiiiiii!" she says, grabbing at Jamie's hand and making silly faces at him. They work their way around the room, hugging and kissing. Their uncles are there, grandparents too, Frankie, fourteen and sullen, waves at them from the couch but doesn't get up. Kevin and Danielle arrive a few minutes later, Danielle six months pregnant with the twins and glowing.

Dad gives them both a brief, one armed hug, passing one hand over the top of Jamie's head and commenting on how big he's getting. It's not much, but Nick will take it for now. Kevin barbecues while everyone else sits around a table in the backyard, the sun warm and bright on their shoulders and burning at the back of Nick's neck. He sips a diet coke as he chats to their uncle about work and music and other safe, mundane things. Joe is seated across from him with Jamie in his lap, the toddler suddenly energetic, squirming in Joe's grip. Danielle is talking enthusiastically about the twins, asking Joe all sorts of questions about what's going to happen when they finally come. Joe's clearly trying to hold the conversation, but it looks difficult with Jamie wriggling around. He's playing with Joe's necklace, then tugging on his ear, turning on Joe's lap to fist his hands in Joe's shirt, making incoherent babbling noises and high screeching that makes Joe wince. Nick meets Joe's eye and lifts his chin, silently asking if he needs a break, and Joe nods gratefully.

Nick sets down his drink and walks around the table. Jamie seems to have just noticed Nick is there, and he reaches out for Nick even as Nick is bending toward them. "Hey, baby." Nick says softly as he lifts Jamie out of Joe's arms. "You're a little squirmy today, huh?"

"Let him run around a bit." Mom suggests. "He clearly wants to move."

Nick lowers the boy carefully and holds Jamie's hands as he finds his feet. He's still working on the whole 'walking' thing - he can go backwards and sideways in a stumbly little step, and he can run if he gets the momentum. Once Nick lets go, Jamie sways a bit, takes a step and smiles gleefully. "Dada!' he squeals, and makes his wobbly way over to Joe's seat. He wraps his fingers around Joe's pant leg and grins up at him. "Yes?" Joe asks, setting his hand on the top of Jamie's head. "What do you want?"

Jamie just shakes his head and wanders off again. "He's so cute," Danielle says. "Joe, I hope my kids are half that cute."

 

Dad corners Nick a few minutes later. "How are you, Nicholas?"

Nick meets his father's gaze. "I'm good, Dad. Really good."

"Working on any music?"

Nick shrugs. "I'm kind of busy. There's not much time for writing between diaper changes."

Dad's eyes narrow. "Diaper changes for a child that isn't yours, Nick. You're twenty years old and you've already given up your career. You have so much potential, you've done so much -"

Nick tries to remember his own advice. Don't engage, don't engage, don't engage. 

Who is he kidding. He's Nick Jonas, and Nick Jonas does not back down from a fight.

"And I have the rest of my life to do more, if I choose to. You're right, I'm twenty, and I've made a choice."

Dad shakes his head. "You don't have to do this. I understand, son, you're a good brother and you're helping Joe out of a tough situation. But he brought this problem on himself -"

"Jamie is not a problem, and he's not a situation either. He's your grandson."

Dad's voice drops. "I am too young for a grandson. Your brother is too young to be a father. He's practically a child himself. He's not doing the poor kid any favours either. I told him right at the beginning of this mess, if he'd just considered adoption -"

Nick feels his hands curl into fists. Just the thought of putting Jamie up for adoption...

"Well he didn't. And he loves that boy - we love that boy - more than adoptive parents ever could. He's happy. He's a happy, healthy, wonderful kid and you don't see it, you can't see it, because all you're thinking about is the careers you think we've lost."

"I just don't understand why you have to follow Joseph down the drain. He's screwed up his life, but you, Nick! You could form a new band, put out a new album..."

"Hasn't he done enough?"

Nick starts. It's Joe at his shoulder, glaring at Dad.

"What?"

"I said, hasn't he done enough? Hasn't he made you enough money, sold you enough albums?"

"Joe," Nick interrupts evenly. "You know I did all that because I wanted to. We all did."

"And now you want to stop, and it's your choice. And by the way, Dad, I didn't screw up my life by having Jamie. He's the best thing to ever happen to me."

"Bull," Dad hisses. "You have no idea what kind of strain you're putting on yourself by raising a child alone. Let alone what you're doing to him."

"I'm not alone. I have Nick. What do you mean, what I'm doing to him?"

"For one thing, you will not always have Nick. He will have his own family one day. He should have his own family. What you are doing is raising a child into a broken family. That child needs his mother."

"Well he doesn't have one," Joe spits. "She ran off, remember? She abandoned him. It sucks but it's the way it is, and I don't understand why you have to keep bringing this stuff up. It's not like I can conjure up a new mom for him at the click of my fingers, and I don't want to. Jamie is loved. I'm a good father, no matter you say, so stop bugging me."

 

Dad doesn't let up; he never really will. Nick sighs and turns his attention away from the argument. He's been keeping one eye on Jamie the whole time, they both are - he can see Joe's gaze darting between his son and his father every few moments.

This is the kind of thing that Nick wishes Dad could understand. He can't see how Dad can believe that Joe isn't suited or ready to be a dad. Joe was born for this. Jamie is his world and anyone with half a brain would see that Jamie's the luckiest kid in history to have Joe as a father. That's how Nick sees it, anyway. Then again, Nick's pretty biased.

Nick turns back to his father and his brother just in time to hear Joe say, "Do not tell me how to raise my child."

Joe turns away before Dad can answer, meeting Nick's eyes. "Nick, I think it's time we went home. Jamie will be hungry."

Nick doubts that, considering the handfuls of mashed potato Jamie was taking from Joe's plate earlier, but it's as good an excuse as any to get away from their father. He shrugs and agrees.

 

Joe begins to make the rounds of goodbyes, hugging and handshaking, while Nick gets ready to take Jamie home. He's still running around like crazy, making circles around the kitchen island now. Nick gets his things together - car keys, Blanky, Joe's sunglasses.

"Jamie, stop running around like that. You're going to hurt yourself."

Jamie just giggles and makes another round of the counter. "Jamie, come on. Come say goodbye to grandma and grandpa." Nick puts his things down and heads towards the kitchen.

Jamie sees him and gives a cheeky grin, running around the opposite side of the counter and hiding from view. He peeks around it to look at Nick, just one green eye and half a smile showing before he's disappearing again. Nick laughs. "Can't hide forever, J. Come on, home time."

It happens too fast to really see it. One second Jamie's rounding the corner at a sprint, arms stretched out toward Nick. He doesn't see the sharp corner of the kitchen cabinet and hits it head on, falling backwards with a shocked little cry. Nick shakes his head, walking a little faster to pick him up. "See, I told you you'd hurt yourself."

Falling is not an uncommon event for the toddler and he always recovers quickly, so Nick is not too worried as he kneels in front of Jamie. He's crying a little, hands held over his face.

When Nick wraps his hands around Jamie's wrists and pulls them gently down, he nearly has a heart attack.

There's blood. Alot of blood, flowing steadily from a cut in the middle of Jamie's forehead. "Ow," Jamie is saying in a high, shocked little voice. "Ow, hurts." When he notices the blood his eyes widen and he really starts to cry.

Nick feels panic rising in him like a tidal wave, heart thumping too fast and blood rushing in his ears. "Joe," he yells. "Joe!"

Nick's first instinct is stop the bleeding, so he fits his hands under Jamie's armpits and lifts him, rushing back into the kitchen as Jamie wails against his shoulder. Joe comes running at that moment. He can't see Jamie's head from where it's turned into Nick's body, but he can clearly hear that Jamie is in pain. "What happened?"

"He ran into the wall," Nick says shortly, reaching for the first absorbent thing he sees - a roll of paper towel - and ripping the sheets off in jerky movements. "There's blood."

He has to force Jamie to turn towards him so he can press the paper towel to the cut. Joe gets one glance at the blood and goes paper white in a second. "Jesus Christ." He rushes forward to stand at Nick's shoulder, makes him move the towel aside so he can see the cut. "Nick, that's - that's a bad cut."

"I know," Nick says, trying to control his worry. Jamie's never seriously hurt himself before.

"What's going on?"

Mom, entering the kitchen. "Jamie hurt himself," Nick explains. "It's bleeding alot, Ma."

Mom, equipped with thirty years of motherhood, takes charge, inspecting the cut and trying to soothe Jamie. "It'll need stitches," she declares after a moment. "You better get him to an ER."

Things get rushed and blurry for a little while. Jamie is handed off to Joe when they decide that Nick is probably fitter to drive. Everybody follows them outside to the car in a flurry, expressing their concern and hope that everything will be alright. Joe is lost and terrified, eyes wide as he straps himself into the passenger seat. Jamie is clinging to his shoulders with a towel now pressed to his little head. "Mom," Joe keeps saying. "Mom, what if -"

"He'll be fine," Mom says firmly through the car window. "He's not the first Jonas to run into a wall." She rubs her thumb fondly over the scar between Joe's eyes. "You're both made of tougher stuff than that, my boy. Now go." 

Nick starts the engine and peels out of their parents' street as fast as he legally can.

 

During the drive to the hospital, Nick turns again to instinct. He's not thinking of head injuries or fragile bodies or concussions. He can only concentrate on getting to the doctors so they can fix his nephew as soon as possible. Indicate, turn. Change gears. Brake. Accelerate. It's all he has capacity for at the moment.

At a red light, Nick allows himself a glance in the passenger seat. Jamie is still crying steadily, face red and damp. Joe has one hand pressed to the towel at Jamie's head and the other holding Jamie in place against his chest. Nick knows it's not the safest way to drive; lord knows they spent enough money on the kid's car seat in the back. But it's a short drive and he doesn't think anyone could rip Joe's son from his arms right now, he's holding on so tight.. Joe is totally focused on Jamie, talking to him in such a quiet voice that Nick can't hear him. Joe's still pale, body locked in tension. Nick knows there's no way either of them will be able to relax in the slightest until someone with a medical degree tells them that Jamie will be alright. 

He watches Joe press kisses to Jamie's wet cheeks, tell him everything's going to be alright, Daddy's got him.

 

Nick hates hospitals. He thinks even if he weren't a diabetic who lived through one of the scariest night of his life in one, he'd hate them. He hates them even more when the young but scary triage nurse declares Jamie not hurt enough to be given quick attention.

"It's just a cut," she says. "The bleeding's already slowing down and he'll need a few stitches. I'm afraid there are much sicker patients than your son right now, sir."

Nick almost turns back to say I'm just his uncle, but even to himself it would be a lie. He's not just Jamie's uncle and he doesn't think he ever was. Sure, maybe in those first few weeks when Audrey was still around and Nick was just one of dozens of visitors who came to coo over the newborn. Then, when Joe had asked Nick for help, temporarily, Nick had thought he would be able to stay detached, that he wouldn't let Jamie worm his way into Nick's heart and make him want to stay forever.

Like his dad, Jamie seemed determined to be the exception to all of Nick's rules. It had only taken a few weeks of living with Joe and the baby for Nick to realise that it was the family he'd always longed for but never admitted. There was nothing temporary about that, and since then he's let his love for Jamie grow unfettered, let him treat the baby as his own.

He shouldn't be surprised. Jamie is part of Joe, and Joe was always Nick's.

It only took a year and a half, but Nick's finally ready to admit to himself that in his heart, Jamie is his son. 

 

His son, who is again screaming his guts out. Joe is stressed and pained looking, biting his lip as he looks at his watch. Nick knows he's trying to figure out how long Jamie's been bleeding. The nurse is right, it's basically stopped now, but the cut definitely needs stitches and Jamie is definitely still in pain. "Here, give him to me."

Joe doesn't protest, just hands Jamie over carefully. Nick takes Jamie's weight easily, helping him wrap his legs around Nick's waist, his arms around Nick's neck. Jamie is wailing in his ear and Nick takes a moment to make sure that Joe is alright (collapsing into an uncomfortable plastic chair, hands shaking, but yes, alright) - before he turns his attention to calming Jamie.

He always was the best at it. Of course Joe shares the strongest bond with Jamie, was the first to know which cry meant hungry and which meant sleepy. Joe can get a smile out of Jamie where everyone else fails miserably. Nick, however, is an expert in getting Jamie to stop crying. Joe insists that Nick is magic; that there' s something mysterious and mystical about him that makes Jamie respond the way he does. Nick, personally, attributes it to his natural calm and collected manner. He thinks it must project on Jamie somehow.

He's not feeling particularly calm right now, not with a bleeding toddler and a distraught brother to care for, but Nick does his best. He closes his eyes, blocking out the sounds and sights of the ugly, panicked ER. He rocks Jamie gently back and forth, talking as softly as he knows how. "Hey, little baby boy. Hey, my boy. It's going to be alright. Doctors are gonna come fix you up and then your daddy and I will take you home, okay? Everything's gonna be alright, little J."

He doesn't even know what he's saying, just a stream of soothing sounds that occasionally break into song. He's shocked, fifteen minutes into his trance, to find that Jamie has fallen quiet against him. He is not sleeping, just quieter, peaceful. Not crying. Nick can't help a triumphant smile and he kisses Jamie's nose. "Such a brave boy."

When he sits down next to Joe, Joe is looking at him like he's a god. "You really are magical."

"I try. What about you?" He untangles one hand from Jamie to squeeze Joe's knee. "How you doing?"

Joe shrugs. "I'm okay. I just wish they'd see him and tell me that he's alright."

Right on cue, a gruff voice calls out "James Jonas?"

After all that waiting and freaking out, the actual time with the doctor is brief. He has Joe hold Jamie still as he inspects the cut, injects a local anesthetic into Jamie's head (which Jamie does not like, understandably) and begins to stitch up the cut. The local anesthetic is supposed to numb the whole area but Jamie screams through the entire ordeal. Nick is unsure if he's actually in pain or just scared and tired, but he holds Jamie's little hand anyway. After a little while, Jamie has a neat vertical line of six stitches in the middle of his forehead. The doctor presses a small bandage over it and says yes, it may scar. They give him some children's painkillers and suddenly it's all over and Nick can breathe again.

 

It's nearly seven in the evening by the time Nick is pulling into their driveway again. Pulling a thankfully slumbering Jamie from his carseat, Nick feels exhaustion creeping up on him, headache pounding just behind his eyes. He feels weak too and thinks with a start that he hasn't eaten in awhile. He probably needs to check his levels, but it can wait a few minutes.

He holds Jamie as he waits for Joe to unlock the front door. Joe glances at him and his brow furrows in concern. "You don't look too good, Nick. You need to eat."

"I'm fine."

"Here," Joe takes Jamie from Nick and heads towards the stairs. "I'm gonna put him to bed. Eat something and check your levels."

Alone in the kitchen, Nick pricks his finger and is shocked at how low he really is. He sucks down a juice box and makes himself a sandwich, feeling his head clear and some of the weakness disappear as he eats. It doesn't change how tired he is, though. It's been a long day.

Joe hasn't come downstairs yet so Nick goes up. At the moment they sleep in the same room, although they tell everyone it's Joe's. He keeps Jamie's crib in there too, close to the bed so Joe can get to him easily.

The room is dark and quiet. Joe has his back to Nick, leaning over the crib. Nick stands beside him, hips and shoulders bumping together as they peer down at Jamie. He's in his pyjamas - a blue shirt and shorts. Nick only bought them last week. Jamie's on his back, Blanky twisted in one fist and sleeping peacefully. Nick can't help but stare at the square white bandage on his head.

He glances at Joe. He looks exhausted; hair messy from running his fingers through it, eyes heavy and tired. Nick knows that today was a huge test for Joe - for them both. Their first big emergency, the first time Jamie really got hurt. Nick can only hope that Jamie doesn't turn out to be as clumsy a kid as Joe was because he doesn't know if he can handle another hundred days like this. 

He lets them both watch Jamie sleep in silence for a while longer, reassuring themselves that everything is alright. Eventually he rubs a hand over Joe's shoulder. "Come on. We should sleep too."

Joe nods, brushing his hand over Jamie's one more time before turning away from the crib. He looks at the bed and smiles for the first time in hours. "Bed," Joe says longingly, beginning to toe out of his shoes. 

"Do you want to eat? I left a sandwich for you downstairs."

Joe shakes his head. "Too tired. You did, right? You look better."

"Yeah. I'm okay."

Nick doesn't bother getting properly undressed just strips down to his undershirt and boxers, mirroring Joe's actions. They lie on their sides, face to face. Joe sighs as his head hits the pillow, eyes closing in pleasure. "Longest day ever?"

"I dunno. We've had some pretty long ones..." Nick trails off, knowing he doesn't need to remind Joe of the years they spent being shuffled from interview to appearance to soundcheck to interview, 4am wake up calls and no rest.

"Yeah but we didn't have a kid then."

"True."

They lapse into silence for awhile, just kind of staring at each other and absorbing the day's events. Nick feels sleep lazily approaching, his limbs going heavy and his thoughts drifting lazily.

"I was so scared," Joe says quietly. "When he showed me the cut. I've never been so scared."

"I know. Me too."

"What if - I mean what if he really hurts himself one day Nick? He was lucky today but -"

"He's fine." Nick rests a hand on Joe's neck, rubbing the skin with his thumb. "He's fine, and we're fine. And if it happens again one day we'll deal with, just like we dealt with it today."

Joe tilts his head suddenly, pressing his mouth to Nick's for a long moment. "I'm glad you were here. I would have fallen apart without you."

"Of course I was here. He's my boy."

"Our boy." Joe responds firmly, eyes crinkling up at the corners as he smiles.

Nick smiles back and kisses his brother a few more times, until he really does feel sleep taking over. He curls closer into Joe, their toes touching under the covers and knees knocking. Nick falls asleep with Joe's nose brushing his and their son sleeping peacefully in the crib beside him.


End file.
